At rest

For a long time, I had felt unease about my relationship with SO. Although I had ascertained (to the best of my ability) that he is truly saved before going out with him, there had been this sense of niggling doubt whether I can really trust his headship and to depend on him spiritually. This heart of unrest had led to many sinful throwing of tantrums, whining, nagging and harsh, spontaneous and deliberate words designed to hurt and break the spirit - all on my part.

But all these changed after our personal bible study yesterday. And what is surprising is that this feeling of being at rest spiritually with him, comes from his respectful sharing of his discomfiture with my church after visiting it with me for nearly 2 years.

Note: These heartfelt comments had to be taken against the background that we both agree that my church is preaching God's Word. Heavily edited and summarised version of what he had said.

"The greater emphasis by your church is on what we *should* (emphasis mine) do, as believers in Christ. That is right, not wrong. However, what it has led to in me personally, is a focus on myself, my failings and to fear. And we know there is nothing we can do that will ever reach God's standard. What has helped me rather so far, is my awareness that Jesus is constantly present with me, and that He accepts me and whatever requests I bring to Him always. Then I am able to do what is preached in James, which is a natural response of faith in Him to be in me and constantly around me."

For some reason, despite the fact that he is not totally comfortable with my "spiritual home", his words laid to rest my worries about him leading me spiritually. Long and arduous may be our spiritual journey as we continue to discuss and debate the many, many differences in our understanding of His Word and how that should work in actual applications in our lives, but even this no longer matters.

For I know that Jesus is with us, as He is with him.

An adequate response

"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." (1 Pet 3: 15-16)

Some time ago, I was having a very happy dinner with my friend. We were chatting happily, not really caring about the direction of the topic when I was suddenly aware of myself saying (I have no idea how I got there...)

"You know when I was not a Christian, I've always felt that Christians were myopic, narrow-minded people...."

And even as I was saying the above, I was aware that very soon I would be made to account for why I believe in Christ now, and sure enough....

"So why are you a Christian now?"

Silence, my mind was a blank. Eventually, I wheezed out, "Because I have experienced the love of Jesus, in dying on the cross for me...."

Which gave her the chance to say, "You know this theme of self-sacrifice is not unique to Christianity. In Buddhism, Buddha also gave himself up for mankind so that they can reach enlightenment..."

Hopefully, my wasting of a chance to talk about Christ can be your gain. Now that I have some time to think things through, I'd feel an adequate response would possibly contain these elements.

i) God is a holy God. Being holy, He cannot withstand any single intention or action that is against His fully good character.

ii) He made man to be in fellowship with Him. He intends for Man to rule the world under Him.

iii) However man is sinful, and wants to rebel against Him. We want to rule the world without Him. (Romans 3:10 "There is no one righteous, no not one...")

iv) "For the wages of sin is death..." (Romans 6:23) As a result, we are condemned, to be away from His presence forever.

v) "I am the way the truth the life. No one comes to the Father except through me..." (John 14:6) Belief in Jesus is the only way. "but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 6:23)

vi) "That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. " (Romans 10:9-10) When we put Jesus as Lord in our lives, our relationship with God is restored.

I believe, because I believe in the words of Jesus....

Anymore essential elements for an adequate response?

What Angels Long to know

Very meaningful song by Steven Curtis Chapman. Part of the lyrics:

Angels Wish

Was God smiling when He spoke the word and made the world?
And did He cry about the flood?
What does God's voice sound like when He sings, when He's angry?
These are just a few things that the angels have on me

.......
But I've been shown the Saviour's love
The Grace of God has raised me up
....
And I know things the angels only wish they knew

I have seen the dark and desperate place where sin will take you
I've felt loneliness and shame
And I have watched the blinding light of grace
come breaking through with a sweetness only tasted
By the forgiven and redeemed

And someday I'll sit down with my angel friends
Up in heaven
And they'll tell me about Creation
And I'll tell them a story of Grace
.....

And isn't that true? When Lucifer led a rebellion against God, a third of the angels followed him. And they were kicked out of heaven onto earth where they are continuing their campaign to lead people in rebellion against God and away from Jesus Christ. They will await for the appointed time for their judgement. The lake of fire was originally prepared for them. (Matt 25:41)

There is no reprieve for them - their rebellion signals their eternal dismissal from God's presence - to the lake of fire where even death and hades is thrown in during the end times (Rev 20:15) Yet God in His grace sent Jesus to die for us so that we can fellowship with Him, a grace that is not shown to the demons - the fallen angels. (2 Pet 2:4) He has given us a way to be His Sons and Daughters and to know Him as the perfect, heavenly Father...

"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6)

He is in control

Had been disturbed for some time because of relations in the office which frankly, I was reluctant to resolve because I had felt it was not my fault. (Why should I?) Yet there was disquiet in my heart from this disharmony.

He sees even the most petty of things in our lives. In this particular episode, He set up a situation where we were alone together (without any of our planning) and where it was awkward to escape. Nothing fanciful, simply being along for 2 so short (yet so crucial) minutes where apologies could be made. And He moved my proud heart so that I initiated what I and my heart WILL not do.

From a human perspective, it was a lose-lose situation - not only was our relations not restored to what it was, I said "sorry" - a potentially career-limiting move, against chinese wisdom which classifies this as "赔了夫人又折兵".

Yet now, I am at peace, with Him, because I did what is right in His sight. It's a shame that our relationship was not enhanced, but He gives, and He takes away. I can only wait on His timing now.

This simple episode is so amazing because it parallels our salvation. Things are wrong! And we and our heart want things contrary to His Will. We wish for others to submit to us. Yet it is God who grants us the way of reconciliation, God who rules our heart to desire that reconciliation and ultimately God who acts in us (despite our hearts) to obtain this reconciliation.

Other mundane notes: I've only received my notice of paying tax yesterday (though it was sent a month ago) and the due date was today! Praise God that I'm given the opportunity to pay my taxes before potential misunderstandings and troubles can occur at a period where I am relatively more at rest and thus less irritable and bothered. And my dear's prayers is moving towards dependence on God's daily provision not only for our daily bread and physical blessings, but also for His work in changing our hearts and becoming people of His Kingdom. I'm feeling so blessed. :)

Matthew 10:29-33 "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

"Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven. "

Disturbed...

For: Mr Nice Guy

After a colleague (Mr Nice Guy) and I booed another colleague for quoting the bible out of context, I turned to him and ask:

Me: Despite being a Buddhist, you seemed to know the bible very well. Have people been quoting the bible out of context to you?
Mr Nice Guy: Yah man.
Me: Wah, very uncomfortable hor. What were some of the things they had quoted out of context to you?
Mr Nice Guy: That all non-Christians are destined to go to hell...
Me: [Pretending to be distracted by work on my laptop]

I can imagine that I must appear to be really indifferent to your pain when I was "distracted". Frankly, deep down inside, I'm really disturbed and I don't know how to show that to you. I'm disturbed because the bible has written unequivocally that our rightful place is to be condemned and I don't want to strain our friendship because I'm the messenger of that truth.

Rom. 3:10, "As it is written, 'There is none righteous, not even one...'"
Rom. 3:23, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
Rom. 5:12, "Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned."
Rom. 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Rom. 5:8, "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Rom. 10:9-10, "if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation."
Rom. 10:13, "For whoever will call upon the name of the Lord will be saved."

From Four Spiritual Laws in CARM website

That's not to say that Christians are better than other people (although we should be, but alot of times, we fail in the standards set by our Creator, who knows our weaknesses but saves us in His love nontheless.) True Christians (that's not all self-professing Christians) are simply people whom God has forgiven in Christ.

Mr Nice Guy, I love you (as a friend), I really do. And I think it is this desire to maintain a good relationship with you that kept my mouth shut when I should have said that that was not a concept that was spoken out of context. It is really written in the bible.

If after reading this passage, you would like to discuss what the bible says, feel free to talk. I cannot say I know everything there, but we can look at the passages together. I pray though, our friendship is not strained...