"Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?

Let him who accuses God answer him!" -Job 40:2

Sometimes it's really difficult to trust that God is really for us when I see:

- A sister-in-christ struggling to put her life in His hands when facing health problems that potentially can affect her entire life
- A sister-in-christ struggling with her single mom and other friendship/relationship issues
- A sister-in-christ - who had prayed so earnestly for my salvation for 3 years - disappointed by her previous church and afraid to commit to another.
- My grandma, in her post-stroke days, unsaved, unreachable through words, how much of what I'm saying can she understand?
- The unrighteous prospering while others with equal ability languishing away
- Being denied of what I want (Dear God, are these wants ungodly? Can't they be used for your glory?)

It's times like these that I question God: Are you really for us? Why must good, godly people people go through so much? Aren't who we are right now and our earnest pursuit of you good enough for you? Why can't you love us as who we are right now and bless us with all good things - wouldn't it bring glory to Your Name?

Of course I know about Hebrews 12:10-11 "Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." but God, isn't there an easier way to reach the same goal? I am so tired, God why must my decisions right now be filled with Your scruples? I feel so limited by them.

C.S Lewis puts it into perspective for me:
"God has landed on this enemy-occupied world in human form ...-... the inconceivable, the uncreated, the thing from beyond nature, striking down into nature like lightning.... And what was the purpose of it all? He came to earth to suffer and be killed.... Christ was killed for us, that His death has washed out our sins, and that by dying He disabled death itself..... The perfect surrender and humiliation were undergone by Christ: perfect because He was God, surrender and humiliation because He was man. If we share the humility and suffering of Christ we shall also share in His conquest of death and find a new life after we have died and in it become perfect, and perfectly happy, creatures."

What of our personal concerns? He has already proven His love for us in history - without any need on His part to. The magnitude of what He had done is greater than a human being having to justify to a whole colony of cockroaches that he loves them.

Yet I must confess my discontented human heart does not want to fully appreciate it. Job could be brought to the humbling realization of his unworthiness with evidence only of our Lord's greatness. What of our witness of God's greatness meeting His love based on what Christ had done? We should have even more reasons to exclaim as in Job 42:

2 "I know that you can do all things;
no plan of yours can be thwarted.

3 You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?'
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me to know.

4 "You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.'

5 My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.

6 Therefore I despise myself
and repent in dust and ashes."

God help me to really understand and appreciate it.

(Latest update from previous entry)P.S This point was further reinforced and a nail to my heart in tonight's DG study when we were studying Malachi 3:5-7. The context was of the Israelites' complaint that God is not dealing with the unrighteous people around them, having the implication that they think they themselves are righteous people-and therefore worthy of His exclusive blessings.

Yet God's very next verse 6 bluntly brought home the point that they themselves have turned away from His decrees and have not kept them and thus also condemned by right to His judgement. His call to them is my call too, "Return to me, and I will return to you," says the LORD Almighty.

Dear God, help me to trust you despite not understanding why you permit certain things to happen in this world.