Disturbed...

For: Mr Nice Guy

After a colleague (Mr Nice Guy) and I booed another colleague for quoting the bible out of context, I turned to him and ask:

Me: Despite being a Buddhist, you seemed to know the bible very well. Have people been quoting the bible out of context to you?
Mr Nice Guy: Yah man.
Me: Wah, very uncomfortable hor. What were some of the things they had quoted out of context to you?
Mr Nice Guy: That all non-Christians are destined to go to hell...
Me: [Pretending to be distracted by work on my laptop]

I can imagine that I must appear to be really indifferent to your pain when I was "distracted". Frankly, deep down inside, I'm really disturbed and I don't know how to show that to you. I'm disturbed because the bible has written unequivocally that our rightful place is to be condemned and I don't want to strain our friendship because I'm the messenger of that truth.

Rom. 3:10, "As it is written, 'There is none righteous, not even one...'"
Rom. 3:23, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
Rom. 5:12, "Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned."
Rom. 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Rom. 5:8, "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Rom. 10:9-10, "if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation."
Rom. 10:13, "For whoever will call upon the name of the Lord will be saved."

From Four Spiritual Laws in CARM website

That's not to say that Christians are better than other people (although we should be, but alot of times, we fail in the standards set by our Creator, who knows our weaknesses but saves us in His love nontheless.) True Christians (that's not all self-professing Christians) are simply people whom God has forgiven in Christ.

Mr Nice Guy, I love you (as a friend), I really do. And I think it is this desire to maintain a good relationship with you that kept my mouth shut when I should have said that that was not a concept that was spoken out of context. It is really written in the bible.

If after reading this passage, you would like to discuss what the bible says, feel free to talk. I cannot say I know everything there, but we can look at the passages together. I pray though, our friendship is not strained...

Shepherd of my Soul

Many times I wonder, how a person who is blur like me, who is not as capable nor clever like some of my colleagues, who is not financially savvy and who is not observant even of things right in front of me, could have stumbled across His love?

Not only had He done the great work of saving me, He had shown the persistent love that appears hard to get in this ephemeral world by shielding me from the minefields of life, which I could have stepped into unwittingly. His continued presence could be felt in his continued blessings of:

- parents who showed His unfailing forgiveness by accepting me back again and again despite my faults
- A job that I generally like, which provides for me
- General contentment in my lifestyle
- Friends who care

It is awesome to know that His love could even extend to undeserving me, who falls short even by the relative standards of this world... and brings home the fact that "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Rm 8:28)

The sobering reminder is "join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel." (2 Tim 1:8-10) A reminder that will need prayers in.

Shepherd of my soul I give you full control,
Wherever You may lead I will foll-ow.
I have made the choice to listen for Your voice,
Wherever You may lead I will go.

Be it in a quiet pasture or by a gentle stream,
The Shepherd of my soul is by my side.
Should I face a mighty mountain or a valley dark and deep,
The Shepherd of my soul will be my guide.

Successful?

Abundantly blessed in my job with superiors who are objective, great working colleagues, big wide open spaces and lots of facilities in my working environment and in an office away from my boss :p , not to mention lots of friends who have proven to be there for me when I had been down and a recreation that I really enjoy, I praise and thank God that He has put me into an enviable position where I feel I have everything I desire, success from my POV.

If there is one challenge I have to learn to manage, it is the fact that work had gotten so much busier and had become so much more hectic that I don't seem to have time for anything except work and recreation.

Yet even in this fully blessed position, I'm counting the costs, costs that may have become too great to bear. My increased workload means that I am either napping or doing work on the MRT while on my way to work which had taken away my only quiet time for prayer, bible reading or time to catch up with friends via smses to find out how they are doing; I feel tired and have low energy all the time and though I feel care for my friends, it feels so much harder to get involved in their lives, find out how they are doing to pray for, care for and think of practical ways to help them.

Whatever I have, are all blessings for God and I'm fully thankful for them. Yet, I also start to realise, how the fuller meeting of our desires here on earth, can make us less aliens and more at home in, and more conforming to the values of this world. No wonder Jesus has said, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God." (Matt 19:24)! A verse though that ends with hope because he added, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (Matt 19:26)

May God grant me the wisdom and strength to make wise decisions so that I may live out the chief end of man - which is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever.

Knowing You, Jesus...

Knowing You

Graham Kendrick

All I once held dear, built my life upon

All this world reveres, and wars to own

All I once thought gain, I have counted loss

Spent and worthless now, compared to this....

Singing this song in church made me reflect upon my changed values once I've known Him, and to marvel at the person that I am now that I am in Him. The things that I once run after, that would make the foundations, that I once chased after in life - that one love, wealth, ideal family, model and talented children, popular and sought-after friends - all these things were the things that I've hungered for and that I strive to obtain.

The world would probably look at me as a sad failure - an aging, single woman with no potentials hanging in the horizon or much wealth to boast about. And many years ago, as a person with worldly values, that would probably have been an anxiety, an obsession, the dark cloud hanging over my life. But as I remember the God who save me, the Friend who loved me and the Man who had wooed me and won my eternal soul, I have nothing but joy and thanksgiving for the:

- treasure that no eye has seen, and no ear has heard, and no mind has ever conceived

- inheritance that is everlasting and that will not pass even if man and his glory shall pass away

- joy He has set before me, when one day He will wipe the tears from my eyes of every wrong I have to endure and every persecution that was thrown my way.

I already have everything I need for life.

And that is why, I can sing with my whole heart:

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You
There is no greater thing
You're my all, you're the best
You're my life my righteousness
And I love You Lord....

Sweet Surrender

I must say that sometimes I am guilty of deliberately ignoring the sacred labour of reading His Word and praying just so that I can experience that sweet surrender of feeling the lifting of my burden and of rest as I come back to trust Him on His Word and Promises after a protracted period of being away from Him (not recommended definitely.) There is just something of a huge relief to confess my sins to the Man who had been tempted but did not sin, to come before Him and be accepted just as I am, and to experience the forgiveness of my sins and renewed strength and determination (in His Grace, not my work) to do the good that He has purposed in my life. (May I never quench His Holy Spirit!)

When I shove Him into a corner, I am naturally driven by my traditional Chinese upbringing of being wary of people’s motives, thinking the worst of people’s intentions and ultimately, simply protecting myself from hurts and pains that can be caused when 2 individuals’ self-interests collide. Life is tiring, difficult and a pain as I would have to always strive to put on an appearance of radiance, excellence and competence so that I may be admired which would be quickly followed by material and physical advancement. Long term though, it can be draining and meaningless as I wondered what I was doing this for.

Somehow, in Him, life’s cause and effects seemed to be much less important. When a work that I had laboured over was cloistered in a lonely corner, seemingly deliberately neglected, to the extent that my colleagues wanted to fight for my work’s right to be placed in the centre of the hall, although I really appreciated my colleagues’ pain on my behalf and feel a pang of under-appreciation, it somehow affected me less than the satisfaction that I had done my best, that I had gained a lot of colleagues’ care and support in this work and that I had simply devoted the results into His hands, letting Him do as He see fit with the finished product.

All this could only be achieved by His Spirit’s teaching us that there is life after this life, and there is a reward in an eternal inheritance that will never rust, nor be eaten away by moths. That inheritance is God Himself, as He pleasured in giving us His presence, dying for us so that we may have a relationship with Him, resurrecting for witnesses to see so that we may know He really has power to achieve what He has said He would do and living in us, sinful flesh that we are. And in Him, there is joy, joy, joy!

Other than that is the awareness that I really cannot do the good that He had meant for me to do, that I am fully and totally dependent on His Strength and His Grace, to live the high calling He has called us to.

And I know that my feeling of rest in Him lies not the sinking sand of man’s philosophy and man’s false comfort, but in the truth of His Word promised thousands of years ago when His prophet cried (Isa 55):

"Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
2 Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
3 Give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
4 See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a leader and commander of the peoples.
5 Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations that do not know you will hasten to you,
because of the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor."
6 Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
7 Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed."