My determination to just watch salsa in my debut experience with salsa had me hugging my bag while seated. Until my good-natured colleague and her group of warm friends (feeling bad because I'm left out of the fun) got me to stand up to try out the basic salsa step and turn to the count of "1-2-3-pause, 5-6-7-pause" and a few basic cues by which the lead will signal to the follower what he wants done. And suddenly, I was in the middle of the dance floor, so I thought, "Ok, let's just give it a shot."
It's interesting what happened next. Basically with me only knowing the steps, the turn and cues, the lead was able to execute patterns and variations that were beyond my comprehension. I just simply delighted in being part of a unison that is working well together and following his unspoken cues, little as I know. It suddenly dawned on me that this is the perfect metaphor for the ideal marriage and men-women relationships.
With Christ mapping out the basic template and boundaries of what the dance is supposed to be, man led and woman followed and supported. It doesn't matter if the man chose to keep to a tight spot in order to consider other dances or chose to take up more space and shine so that he can become a model for others, woman simply followed, helped and adapted as long as man is within the boundaries of the dance.
There are of course other factors, that can come into the dance. What if man is less experienced in the dance than woman? How can woman humbly follow so that man can lead and yet learn to be a better dancer? What if it is obvious that the couple is on a crash course with another couple and man is oblivious to it? How can woman influence without sabotaging the leadership position of man? What if man is obviously violating every rule in the dance? What can the woman do?
And of course woman can always exercise her choice of "No" even as it is man's prerogative to initiate. When a player, a wolf in sheep's clothing, a predator wants to initiate a dance with you or even if a decent guy were to choose to initiate a dance that you believe to be against His will, you can choose to diplomatically refuse.
And of course there is this unspoken rule that is generally true in this male-led dance, "When things go awry, it's never the lady's fault." =D
These could be some considerations of the lead:
i) How much does she know, and how complex can my dance design be so that she can follow?
ii) Where are the empty spaces I can lead the lady to?
iii) How tall is she and where can I hold her so that she is comfortable?
iv) How firm/gentle should my hold be so that she is comfortable yet allow for clear signalling?
v) How can I teach her new moves so that she looks good?
The successful dance is the basic premise of the man and woman moving well together. So, do you dance? ;)
