My determination to just watch salsa in my debut experience with salsa had me hugging my bag while seated. Until my good-natured colleague and her group of warm friends (feeling bad because I'm left out of the fun) got me to stand up to try out the basic salsa step and turn to the count of "1-2-3-pause, 5-6-7-pause" and a few basic cues by which the lead will signal to the follower what he wants done. And suddenly, I was in the middle of the dance floor, so I thought, "Ok, let's just give it a shot."
It's interesting what happened next. Basically with me only knowing the steps, the turn and cues, the lead was able to execute patterns and variations that were beyond my comprehension. I just simply delighted in being part of a unison that is working well together and following his unspoken cues, little as I know. It suddenly dawned on me that this is the perfect metaphor for the ideal marriage and men-women relationships.
With Christ mapping out the basic template and boundaries of what the dance is supposed to be, man led and woman followed and supported. It doesn't matter if the man chose to keep to a tight spot in order to consider other dances or chose to take up more space and shine so that he can become a model for others, woman simply followed, helped and adapted as long as man is within the boundaries of the dance.
There are of course other factors, that can come into the dance. What if man is less experienced in the dance than woman? How can woman humbly follow so that man can lead and yet learn to be a better dancer? What if it is obvious that the couple is on a crash course with another couple and man is oblivious to it? How can woman influence without sabotaging the leadership position of man? What if man is obviously violating every rule in the dance? What can the woman do?
And of course woman can always exercise her choice of "No" even as it is man's prerogative to initiate. When a player, a wolf in sheep's clothing, a predator wants to initiate a dance with you or even if a decent guy were to choose to initiate a dance that you believe to be against His will, you can choose to diplomatically refuse.
And of course there is this unspoken rule that is generally true in this male-led dance, "When things go awry, it's never the lady's fault." =D
These could be some considerations of the lead:
i) How much does she know, and how complex can my dance design be so that she can follow?
ii) Where are the empty spaces I can lead the lady to?
iii) How tall is she and where can I hold her so that she is comfortable?
iv) How firm/gentle should my hold be so that she is comfortable yet allow for clear signalling?
v) How can I teach her new moves so that she looks good?
The successful dance is the basic premise of the man and woman moving well together. So, do you dance? ;)
4 comments:
Hey there, you have a wonderful blog and rather informative thoughts. I am heartened to know that i am not alone in my struggles with Christ.
However I think you are much more faithful than me. When I get upset with Him, there is no stopping me from raging against Him and my petulant protest against what I view to be His meanness, unkindness (towards me) and favouritism for others.
I stew in my anger for days and there have been times when I've even packed my cross and bible away in a dusty corner of my room and simultaneously told Him to get out of my life.
Can you tell me how you keep your faith strong in the face of unchanging bad circumstances that you have continually prayed for yet see no difference from God?
Btw, let's link each other's blogs up. I invite you to read mine too. I think God intended for me to read yours, if you don't think that's freaky because there were one or two of your postings which resonated with me and I think they were what He wanted to talk to me about. I "came upon" your blog when I googling for where to get the best breads and pancakes in Singapore.
Best,
Cheryl
a perceptive perspective.
-shir-leen-
Hi,
Cheryl and Shirleen, sorry for taking such a long time to respond. Work became my life for a while.
Shirleen, that's a nice alliteration. I see a poet in the making. ;)
Cheryl, I trust that during the interim, you are in our Lord's hands and He is worked with you through the struggles you are facing.
Like you Cheryl, I'm a sinner and this blog serves as a mini-journal if you like, of my struggles with Him. By His grace, and the people He had put in my life who took the time to counsel me, rebuke me and encourage me, I was given the grace to painfully turn to Him in every episode.
Some simple reflections that I hope will be of some help which probably doesn't even touch the struggle you're facing. I don't think that faith in Him is something we do, it's grace that He gives to His children, and a result of our relationship with Him. For me, it is trusting in His promises written in the bible, one of which was "God works all things for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purposes."
Living out that trust means whatever circumstances I am faced with whether they are ungodly bosses, Christian brothers and sisters whom I had expected to be there for me (and I probably had done my fair share of not being there for them too!), an unbelieving family (despite my constant prayers for them) who is still challenging my faith, I believe that He is in charge and whatever He put in my path, He will lead me through.
I think that the foundation of a life expressed in love, trust and obedience with Jesus is in having a relationship with Him; having a constant communication whether it is talking with Him through prayer or listening to Him - primarily through His Word (the bible) which we pray to understand by the power of His Holy Spirit.
I hope that is helpful for you Cheryl and my prayer is that you will continue being built up in your faith and knowledge in Him. May you run towards the abundant joy He has for you and see the treasure He has kept for you when we see Him face-to-face!
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