Answering Da Vinci Code

Went for the Adult's Meeting at ARPC where our moderator explains the reasons for the series of services that will be answering the claims made in the fictional work of "The Da Vinci Code". The below is the summary my understanding:

The phenomenon of "The Da Vinci Code" had led to millions of readers accessing it - and this is before the movie is out. In his book, claims of a different (or better) bible, a different (or better) church and a different (or better) Christ were made. Hurray, there is no more problem of sin! *sic*

In the author's website, there is a 'bible study' and questions asked in this 'bible study' (aside: I wasn't able to find the 'bible study' in his website, let me know if you see the link) seek to change the faith of the reader.

If "The Da Vinci Code" is a person's first experience with Christianity, they will be bound to leave with a deep-seated distrust of Christianity. Many people whose first encounter with the Japanese was during the Japanese Occupation during World War II still carried with them the deep-seated hatred of them and continued in their perception of their race as brutal, cruel and barbaric.

These services will equip Christians to be certain of what they believe in and with the knowledge required to be able to engage others, who are going to see the movie, in intelligent conversation.

These are the details of the services on "The Real Bible Code":

• A Different Bible (2nd April, 9a.m or 11a.m)
• A Different Church (9th April, 9a.m or 11a.m)
• A Different Christ (16th April, 9a.m or 11a.m)

Our services are at Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Secondary School (note that we meet at the secondary school) at 10 Bishan Street 13. It's a 5-10 min walk from Bishan MRT. Buses that stop outside Kuo Chuan itself are 56, 410G. If you would like to clarify anything, you can call our church office at 6466 0119 or visit our website at www.arpc.net

In addition, our discipleship groups (DG, commonly known as cell groups in other churches) will be furthering the discussions heard during the services:

Week of 2nd April (2/4/2006-8/4/2006): On the Bible
Week of 16th April (16/4/2006-22/4/2006): On Christ

If you'd like to visit my DG (it meets on Wednesdays@8p.m, in the Redhill MRT area) to discuss these issues in greater depth, you can e-mail me or alternatively call our church office at 6466 0119 or visit the website at www.arpc.net for details of other DGs.

Struggling with Worldliness

'And yet....' he said, 'and yet Father, I am terribly afraid. I am afraid that the things the Landlord really intends for me may be utterly unlike the things he has taught me to desire.' (Taken from "Pilgrim's Regress" by CS Lewis, in chapter "Archetype and Ectype".)

My recent conversation with Neonangel made me voice out a thought that surprised me and that also woke me up in the middle of the night.

I remembered waking up feeling utterly miserable and resentful that most good things in my life came because I have to overcome greater opposition and work much harder than most people to get them. A cesspool of emotions whirled in me. Bitterness - that I have to put in so much more effort than others for the same results; envy - that comfortable circumstances and thus freedom of choice just sail to selected people; anger - that I am not one of these selected people and why despite working so hard being 'good', I still don't see my desired rewards.

Should a New Ager approach me at that point and exclaim, "Sister, I envy you, the journey itself is half the fun. Long is the happy road in front of you." I'll happily pay the price of throttling the 'envious' individual to death.

Added to this depressing train of thoughts is this fear, reflected in the above passage from "Pilgrim's Regress": What if there is some sweet reward that God did not want me to have? Why did God not make me smarter? More alert? Quicker-on-my-feet? More capable? More courageous? That'll convince me tremendously towards His commitment to see good in my life!(That serpent that tempts and whispers!)

It's easy to prescribe the cure, but hard to take the medicine. (Well-meaning advice: Sister, you need to be contented with your current situation. Think about the many good things in your life you can be grateful for: Roof over your head, food on your table, your family's with you alive and well, and you have friends some of whom think well of you. Response: Yes but duh, everyone around me has them. The Christians around me have the gift of salvation, these things AND *etc etc* Am I the runt in the litter of offsprings of God?)

Yet it's only in quiet reflection of these things I want that I start to see the sliver of light that signals the end of the tunnel. I'd find the truth is I didn't exactly want these things but I want the perceived benefits that come with these things. I don't really want to be ultra rich, but I want to be secure and avoid the fate of a karang guni woman when I'm old (guess I can't be accused of being complacent huh? ;) ) I don't really want to be popular but I want to be trusted, liked and accepted. I don't really want to be with someone but I want to be unconditionally and exclusively loved.

Unlike a lot of humble, godly Christians in my life, I don't serve Him only to do my best to please Him. It is hard for me to be motivated to do something simply because it's my duty. Rather, I serve Him because I trust that my reward will come when He comes again. I trust that (besides being the ultimate Judge) He is the fulfilment of all my innermost desires (ultimate security, sacrificial acceptance, exclusive love.) For hadn't He already shown His Irresistible Grace, His exclusive love, for me when He made His clarion internal call, personally to me? I trust that my Maker who formed me (and my innermost desires) in the womb will know what best satisfies; my Bread of Life, my Living Water. I trust that By Him I will never hunger and thirst again.

"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
Fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.
The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. " (Ps 34:8-10)

Long (and joyful) is the road by which my heart will learn this.

Being His Daughter

A Single Friend (F): Oy you alright or not, now that's J's attached?

Me: I'm alright, why do you ask?

F: Coz I've personally experienced how different life could be when your close friends get attached and you're aren't. It feels like they've moved on to a different stage in their lives and left you behind. Your friendship with that person changes doesn't it? Doesn't it affect you?

Me: Yup, you're right in this way that something went "missing" when we pass the previous friendship we have. Sure she has moved (The word 'on' spawned another mini-discussion) to a different place and now has an additional role as someone else's girlfriend. We just have to accept that things change and continue loving them the way God called us to. After all, we can move on because *wink* aren't we called to place our trust and be filled only in Him?

To a certain extent, this conversation evoked memories of a much much earlier conversation (years ago) when, in an emotional moment, in the middle of a debate, my pa blurted, "You now call someone else your Father."

For it is true, that:
"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." (2 Cor 6:18)

I comprehend then, but did not fully appreciate what he was feeling. Now with such an experience under my belt, I start to understand a little bit more of what that sense of loss - like a vacuum in the heart - feels like which my pa must have felt for me, his own flesh and blood; a feeling which is a thousand times more than I did with a good friend.

For isn't this true with worldly relationships? Sons and daughters leave their family's household when they get married (in obedience to Gen 2:24 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."); friendships become indifferent when 1 or both parties get attached (or some other reasons that require a change in circumstances); husbands may feel neglected when the children come along.

Yet I can't help but feel that this shouldn't be the case when I become His Daughter.

For our worldly relationships are determined by space and time. Relationships are begun only when our paths happen to cross each other in the same space at a particular time. It could be in the same hangout, online in the same forum/chat room, same work place at the same time. And generally, these relationships are developed within the constraints of space and time at the opportunity cost of other relationships which you may be able to develop. Time spent with family normally means the expense of time spent with friends, relatives, colleagues, work and vice versa. True, the constraint of space is somewhat breached by modern technology: the phone, the internet etc but this case stands generally true.

Yet the situation with God, our unchanging Father, is different. He is beyond space. He won't be at the esplanade catching a concert at 8p.m Saturday night; He won't be logged on to gchat while checking His e-mail. He is everywhere. We come to be acquainted with Him through family, friends, colleagues, our own study of His Word or any other means by which He chooses to intersect us that particular space at that particular time. What's more, as His Daughter, given the Holy Spirit, God lives in me. (He is always in my space.)

Our eternal Father is beyond time. I can communicate with Him anytime: In the middle of spending time with another friend, in my personal time with Him, in the middle of working through a task. He talks to me through His Word, promptings of other friends (especially those who are deeply immersed in His Word), or reminders of previous bible studies I've already done. He can communicate back to me anytime.

A relationship that is beyond space and beyond time, shouldn't that mean a deeper relationship with Him needn't mean the lessening of our relationship with others? In fact, a deeper relationship with Him would mean the deepening of relationship with others. His second greatest commandment (after the commandment about our relationship with Him) is "Love your neighbour as yourself." Wouldn't that mean that being a Daughter that pleases Him should naturally lead to becoming a more loving husband/wife to your spouse? A more loving son/daughter to our parents? A more loving friend? A more loving employer? A more loving employee?

A lot of times, I'd wondered about the accuracy of the allegory of the wheel where our relationship with Him is the centre spoke while other areas of our life are the peripheral spokes that extend from it to our lives. Shouldn't our relationship with God be one more of those peripheral spokes and not the centre? Perhaps this is one of the factors why this allegory works and another justifications why we should be centering on Him in our lives (as if He needs another justification!) A great relationship with Him should generally lead to better relationships with the people God put around us.

"Taste and see that the LORD is good; ....those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. " (Ps 34:8;10)

Seven Questions

Found this exercise from Neonangel's blog a pretty cool dig into my whimsical mind:

Seven Dreams before Death:
1) Being wise
2) Beloved by people
3) Go to Israel and appreciate the landmarks seen in His Word
4) Read and understand the bible in the original languages
5) Having successful businesses
6) Being a best-selling author/recording artiste
7) Giving a great concert to a packed auditorium (preferably as part of a band)

Seven "No Ways" in this lifetime:
1) Bungee Jumping
2) Fixing machines/light-bulbs/computers etc
3) Being a missionary parmanently stationed in a third-world country
4) Stop aspiring
5) Buying luxury items only for indulgence (e.g Godiva chocolates) for myself
6) Bleaching my hair white
7) Get by without love

Seven Sparks to my heart:
(Beep! Entering private domain.)

Seven things I say:
1) Actually, Basically....
2) Could you repeat that again?
3) Sorry, I can't hear you....
4) (repeat previous words or phrases while thinking through my thought processes)
5) Ermmmmm.... (when my mind blanks out suddenly)
6) What did you say again?
7) Please forgive my ears that had experienced the wisdom of my age....

Seven books I like:
1) Gospel of John
2) Mere Christianity by C.S Lewis
3) Screwtape Letters by C.S Lewis
4) From Good to Great by Jim Collins
5) The Perfect Store: Inside Ebay by Adam Cohen
6) Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot
7) Pilgrim's Regress by C.S Lewis

Seven shows I like:
1) Legally blonde
2) A beautiful mind
3) Constantine
4) Buffy the Vampire Slayer
5) Phantom of the Opera
6) LOTR trilogy
7) The Matrix

Seven things on my wishlist:
1) A decent home recording studio (optimised for the working on and recording of song compositions)
2) Thesaurus of Scales and Melodic Patterns by Nicolas Slonimsky(bought)
3) Godiva chocolates
4) The CD containing a song (can't remember the title!) that Bob James plays during his Jazz Workshop here in Singapore on the 7th March (now you know why this is a wish list huh?)
5) To complete my C.S Lewis collection (Still wondering what books by C.S Lewis I have yet to own?)
6) The definitive book that will help me write bewitchingly (Is there such a book around?)
7) The definitive book that will help me give a public address/lesson while holding my audience spell-bound (What about this topic?)

YOU are now tagged. Send me your answers or link to your blog should you post it there to the Seven Questions either via e-mail, comments. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Reflections on the Chu-Han War

I've just finished the last episode of "The Conqueror's Story" (literal translation of Mandarin title was "Proud Heroes of Chu and Han") on Channel 55 of SCV. It is a dramatisation of an actual period in Chinese history when the lands of Chu and Han were at war for dominion over the whole of China after the Qin Dynasty. Watching this show, my mind was fascinated at the rich Chinese history that had been preserved in Chinese idioms.

For example:
破釜沉舟 (Break all the cooking pots and sink all the ships): This idiom means the fierce determination to reach your goal at any cost, even if it requires the cutting off of any alternatives. It came from the historical event of Xiang Yu (later the Prince of Chu, who led a rebellion against the Qin dynasty) ordering the breaking of all the cooking pots and sinking of all ships after crossing the Zhang river. He issued 3-days rations to all his soldiers and warned them that all exit routes except the total defeat of the Qin soldiers had been cut off - it's do or die.

四面楚歌 (Chu songs on all sides): This idiom refers to the decisive point in battle when the Han soldiers had Xiang Yu and his army hemmed in on all sides. In order to break the morale of the Chu soldiers, he had his soldiers play Chu songs so that Xiang Yu's soldiers would be homesick and give the impression that many of the people of Chu had fallen in with the Han people. It thus refers to suffering in isolation, bearing the knowledge that even your allies have fallen in with your enemies.

成于萧何，也败于萧何 (Made by Xiao He, yet also destroyed by Xiao He): With Xiao He's persuasion and recommendation, Han Xin was made commander-in-chief to Liu Bang, the Prince of Han. However, after the establishment of the Han dynasty, it was also Xiao He's machinations with the Empress Lu, that led to Han Xin's death by execution. Thus the idiom referring to the same person who made me was the same person who destroyed me refers to this person Xiao He.

My heart was touched at the scene of 霸王别姬 (hegemonic prince's farewell to his concubine). Often depicted as the romantic, noble hero, Xiang Yu, the self styled 西楚霸王 (hegemonic prince of Western Chu) was bidding farewell to his favourite concubine, Lady Yu, who was performing a sword dance during the last decisive battle where he fell.

项羽：力拔山兮气盖世，时不利兮骓不逝，骓不逝兮可奈何？虞兮，虞兮奈若何？
Xiang Yu: My strength uprooted mountains, My spirit overstepped the world; But the times are against me, And my horse can gallop no more. Even if he can gallop on, what can I do? Lady Yu, what will become of you?

虞姬：汉兵已略地，四方楚歌声。大王意气尽，贱妾何聊生！
Lady Yu: The Han soldiers had overtaken the land, only the songs of Chu hangs in the air. My lord's determination has reached its end, how can your humble concubine live on!

She slit her throat and died so that Xiang Yu need not worry about her and can concentrate on the battle. My tears were streaming down my cheeks at that point in time.

What got my spirit though was the drama's depiction of Liu Bang's (Prince of Han and later the Emperor of China when he established the Han Dynasty) fictional struggle to renege on his promise and betray his sworn brother, Xiang Yu (ironically, also his enemy, the Prince of Chu) and the philosophy of his advisor:

"Justice does not lie in the hearts of men, right or wrong is dependent on the circumstances. Yet I do not know about ultimate justice."

In the earlier parts of the series, it looks like cunning, shrewdness, ruthlessness is richly rewarded. Empress Lu, through ruthless means and sacrifice of family members, propelled her husband, Liu Bang to establish his kingdom and herself as the Empress. She was also seen as the real person who pulled the strings when her son Emperor Hui took over the throne. The emperor who succeeded Emperor Hui was even more of her puppet king. With this power, she was able to promote many of her relatives to positions of influence.

Ending the series at this point would have pointed to serious considerations if simply being morally right is enough? Look at the way she abused Concubine Qi after the death of her husband - cutting off her limbs, shaving her head, gouging out her eyes and cutting off her tongue and having the concubine exhibited as the Human Pig until the concubine died from all the torture. She herself, on the other hand, led a blessed life to her end. Is there real, ultimate justice?

Yet after her death, her whole clan was exterminated and the son of Concubine Bo, reputed to be a simple, humble and thoughtful woman, was made emperor and the entire empire was his and his descendents for the majority of the Han Dynasty.

Somehow, knowing this bit of history, makes me remember these bible verses, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation." (Ex 34:6-7)

It also makes this psalm come alive for me when I read this bit of history, a psalm that was a reflection of the questions in my heart during my personal struggle in the past few months, and prayerfully my lifetime hope and reward in heaven:

"A psalm of Asaph. Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold.
For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong.
They are free from the burdens common to man; they are not plagued by human ills.
Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence.
From their callous hearts comes iniquity; the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.
They scoff, and speak with malice; in their arrogance they threaten oppression.
Their mouths lay claim to heaven, and their tongues take possession of the earth.
Therefore their people turn to them and drink up waters in abundance.
They say, "How can God know? Does the Most High have knowledge?"
This is what the wicked are like—always carefree, they increase in wealth.
Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.
All day long I have been plagued; I have been punished every morning.
If I had said, "I will speak thus," I would have betrayed your children.
When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me
till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny.
Surely you place them on slippery ground; you cast them down to ruin.
How suddenly are they destroyed, completely swept away by terrors!
As a dream when one awakes, so when you arise, O Lord, you will despise them as fantasies.
When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds." (Ps 73)

Beyond the Valley of the Shadow of Death

2 nights ago, in the queue at McDonalds, I caught myself thinking, "What a cute guy." about its branch supervisor.... moments before he caught me staring at him!

Embarrassed yet exhilarated, I shared this incident with 2 of my friends via sms. I was exhilarated not because he was THAT cute, but because it had been so many, many months since my heart was moved by ANYthing - be they touching, attractive or male. :p

It felt like I had walked through the valley of the shadow of death as new depths of fear, uncertainty and feelings of inferiority were plumbed in the past few months. There is a blanket between the world and me and I'd find it so hard to take in anything of the world. Everyday, I could feel a part of me shrinking, shrinking trying not to sense the world, cause every touch brings pain and a sense of unworthiness. Every morning, I'd find that I'd try to will myself to get back to sleep, much much later than the time that I'm supposed to be awake just so that I can escape from the day, and its pain.

Thus, it is no wonder that my heart stopped feeling for the things around me, so as to stop being (negatively) affected by them - including the beauty around me. Brad Pitt could simply walk by me and I would have been totally oblivious. I was like a zombie sleep-walking through the world, a parasite only feeding on the world's resources.

So you could understand the reason for my excitement at discovering that my heart had been moved. This in no way compromised my consistent experience of completeness in Christ, irrespective of my marriage status, but is an indication of my emotional and mental recovery.

Many times in the past few months, I would inwardly groan as I wake up for the day, "God, no, I can't face today! Please, please, bring me to You and take me out of this messed up world," and day by day, somehow, I would get through it - retiring at night never having the insurance that I would be able get through the next.

And yet at the moment when His goodness and glory will be most greatly witnessed - after taunting unbelievers implied that my troubles are an indication that my God was no help to me - He provided for me, to the gnashing of their teeth and provided me with the means to be somewhat gracious, prayerfully for their moment's pondering that perhaps, I do serve the true God.

Frankly, I'm kept humble by the fact that I'm still stumbled by words which tumbled unthinkingly from my mouth (a failing which showed up again this afternoon! Prayerfully, the consequences of this won't be great.)

Yet, I am still quietly grateful for my mind was brought to the promise by this 'cute' incident that highlighted the start of my recovery (no doubt due to the changes in my circumstances), "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." (1 Cor 10:13)

For "(our) God (had) met all my needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:19) Praise be His name forever.