He is in control

Had been disturbed for some time because of relations in the office which frankly, I was reluctant to resolve because I had felt it was not my fault. (Why should I?) Yet there was disquiet in my heart from this disharmony.

He sees even the most petty of things in our lives. In this particular episode, He set up a situation where we were alone together (without any of our planning) and where it was awkward to escape. Nothing fanciful, simply being along for 2 so short (yet so crucial) minutes where apologies could be made. And He moved my proud heart so that I initiated what I and my heart WILL not do.

From a human perspective, it was a lose-lose situation - not only was our relations not restored to what it was, I said "sorry" - a potentially career-limiting move, against chinese wisdom which classifies this as "赔了夫人又折兵".

Yet now, I am at peace, with Him, because I did what is right in His sight. It's a shame that our relationship was not enhanced, but He gives, and He takes away. I can only wait on His timing now.

This simple episode is so amazing because it parallels our salvation. Things are wrong! And we and our heart want things contrary to His Will. We wish for others to submit to us. Yet it is God who grants us the way of reconciliation, God who rules our heart to desire that reconciliation and ultimately God who acts in us (despite our hearts) to obtain this reconciliation.

Other mundane notes: I've only received my notice of paying tax yesterday (though it was sent a month ago) and the due date was today! Praise God that I'm given the opportunity to pay my taxes before potential misunderstandings and troubles can occur at a period where I am relatively more at rest and thus less irritable and bothered. And my dear's prayers is moving towards dependence on God's daily provision not only for our daily bread and physical blessings, but also for His work in changing our hearts and becoming people of His Kingdom. I'm feeling so blessed. :)

Matthew 10:29-33 "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

"Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven. "