The problem of loneliness

Read Island's post that really struck a chord in me. You can read it here.

In the working place, it feels so lonely and it is easy to think that one is the only person who is living in the 2 worlds, living out our citizenship in heaven in a sinful world. It also feels so tiring having to make out the wheat from the weed in the workplace, even among people who call themselves Christians.

Sometimes, it also just feels like I've given a gun to others to shoot myself with, when I do my best to live out what I believe and understand to be God's will, no doubt doing this very imperfectly - perhaps even action taken when wisdom is absent. Alot of times in frustration, I wish I still am an unbeliever because decisions are so instinctive and which will no doubt earn me more brownie points in the 'popularity' and 'easier' stakes. These decisions sometimes caused estrangement with fellow working colleagues because they feel I am working against their interest causing greater isolation and more work. Coupled with the fact that I tend to withdraw emotionally from people who I feel shows risks of hurting me, there are many times I feel so alone and wish I can just turn back, forsake my attempts and simply make peace at the expense of righteousness. In addition, uninvolved 3rd parties' implied jibes are an additional burden and although able to respond quickly to them, they drained my energy and give me greater desire to withdraw and be alone, away from work, even away from Christian fellowship when self-serving Christians are part of my problem.

It was only after a more 'mountain out of a molehill' incident where I looked to more mature sisters-in-christ guidance and prayer, that I realize the importance of a prayer group. With more mature and experienced godly sisters-in-christ, I realized I've gained the following:
- Models of Christlikeness: because they've gone through much, much more, their commitment to godliness is even more rooted than mine and it raises up the bar by which I should strive towards in Christ Jesus.
- Encouragement and fellowship: Patiently enduring my stammering out the facts, so stifled by frustration, annoyance and anger, they supported me emotionally and helped me feel that I am not alone!
- Prayer: They expressed blind spots that I, as an involved party, was not aware of, asking God for help in areas that I may not ask Him for myself. They prayed for me, even when I'm too tired, too depressed, too disappointed - times when I need God the most.

Thank God for His Church! Dear God, give me the wisdom to differentiate between the wheat and the weed and to know the good and wise thing to do in every situation. Thank You for the siblings-in-Christ you have given us because of your adoption of us as your children. Help us in every way, to support each other to run this race that we may finish this race until we meet You face-to-face. And help me remember to pray for the people around me that we may strengthen each other, working in unity the way You had intended it to be.