Sweet Surrender

I must say that sometimes I am guilty of deliberately ignoring the sacred labour of reading His Word and praying just so that I can experience that sweet surrender of feeling the lifting of my burden and of rest as I come back to trust Him on His Word and Promises after a protracted period of being away from Him (not recommended definitely.) There is just something of a huge relief to confess my sins to the Man who had been tempted but did not sin, to come before Him and be accepted just as I am, and to experience the forgiveness of my sins and renewed strength and determination (in His Grace, not my work) to do the good that He has purposed in my life. (May I never quench His Holy Spirit!)

When I shove Him into a corner, I am naturally driven by my traditional Chinese upbringing of being wary of people’s motives, thinking the worst of people’s intentions and ultimately, simply protecting myself from hurts and pains that can be caused when 2 individuals’ self-interests collide. Life is tiring, difficult and a pain as I would have to always strive to put on an appearance of radiance, excellence and competence so that I may be admired which would be quickly followed by material and physical advancement. Long term though, it can be draining and meaningless as I wondered what I was doing this for.

Somehow, in Him, life’s cause and effects seemed to be much less important. When a work that I had laboured over was cloistered in a lonely corner, seemingly deliberately neglected, to the extent that my colleagues wanted to fight for my work’s right to be placed in the centre of the hall, although I really appreciated my colleagues’ pain on my behalf and feel a pang of under-appreciation, it somehow affected me less than the satisfaction that I had done my best, that I had gained a lot of colleagues’ care and support in this work and that I had simply devoted the results into His hands, letting Him do as He see fit with the finished product.

All this could only be achieved by His Spirit’s teaching us that there is life after this life, and there is a reward in an eternal inheritance that will never rust, nor be eaten away by moths. That inheritance is God Himself, as He pleasured in giving us His presence, dying for us so that we may have a relationship with Him, resurrecting for witnesses to see so that we may know He really has power to achieve what He has said He would do and living in us, sinful flesh that we are. And in Him, there is joy, joy, joy!

Other than that is the awareness that I really cannot do the good that He had meant for me to do, that I am fully and totally dependent on His Strength and His Grace, to live the high calling He has called us to.

And I know that my feeling of rest in Him lies not the sinking sand of man’s philosophy and man’s false comfort, but in the truth of His Word promised thousands of years ago when His prophet cried (Isa 55):

"Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
2 Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
3 Give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
4 See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a leader and commander of the peoples.
5 Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations that do not know you will hasten to you,
because of the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor."
6 Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
7 Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed."