1st Lesson: In the midst of enjoying the presentation, there came an unexpected moment when my throat choked with tears when she showed a picture of a tree that was apparantly the tree climbed by Zacchaeus, the tax collector who was trying to catch a glimpse of Jesus.
Luke 19:2-10 "A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. He wanted to see who Jesus was, but being a short man he could not, because of the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.
When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today." So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly.
All the people saw this and began to mutter, "He has gone to be the guest of a 'sinner.' "
But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, "Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount."
Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost.""
Up till now, I still have no idea why I was so touched. Perhaps it was the immediacy of Zacchaeus's response once Jesus stayed with him, perhaps it was the reminder that in His graciousness, He had shown me how wretched, how far away from Him I was and am, yet how low, how long and how deep He had to go in order to call me out of darkness, to be found in His wonderful light. It made me ponder if I'm responding as rightly, as quickly and as lovingly as Zacchaeus to Him as He condescends to make His home in me?
2nd Lesson: Later, talking to a brother-in-christ, Y, and fighting to express myself as well as I could in Mandarin my concerns, he suddenly stopped me and asked me pointedly, "Are you showing your faith through your daily living?" Confronted so abruptly and so suddenly, I have the strong urge to deny his charge and justify the correctness, the reasonableness of my conduct when he strongly went on, “信心不只是用口说的，最基本是用生活活出来的。” (Faith is not something you just talk about, it's most basically lived out in your life.)[These may not be the exact words that Y used, but the approximate meaning is like this.]
My conscience condemned me from making any defence towards this, so I was only able to meekly manage, “是的，在我生活里，我真得没活出神的爱。” (Yes, I really did not live out God's love in my life.)
On my way to ARPC from SBC, I was reflecting on the words 信心 that brother Y used in his charge towards me. You see, in the way that I habitually use the words 信心，I traditionally use it to express "confidence", a synonym for 自信 (self-confidence)，yet Brother Y used it to mean "faith". I marvelled at the subtleness of the mandarin language as my mind makes the connection and the hairline shift in beliefs that will probably have a huge effect in the way I think in the future. True confidence (and our ability to live out His love no matter the circumstances) can only come from faith in our eternal and unchanging God.
3rd Lesson: As if He is not convinced that I really got it, I got another dose of "What's love in action" when Pastor C preaches on 1 Cor 13, the traditional love passage, which leads to some other personal reflections.
"Love... keeps no record of wrongs....."
Partly inspired by another blog entry, I thought through what it means to love by not keeping records of wrongs. I was known before as a person who you will not want to mess with, a person who will definitely return tit for tat, no matter how paranoid you are, how well-defended you are, you can run, but you can't hide. Should you do wrong to me, the very moment your defenses are relaxed.....
But since spending time with Him, being able to pour out all my grievances to Him, being able to trust that He will right every wrong I have to endure, especially if it's in His name, that one day He will wipe away every tear I have had shed, I'd learn that it is a relief to give up the necessity of building a reputation of speedy, definite retribution and entrust my protection into His hands.
For me, it is the clear recognition, "Ooh, that really, really hurt me.", placing that hurt into His hands, entrusting that somehow, God will call all these into account (including MY account against others) one day, praying through the way I am to actually, wisely continue to practise "loving him/her as myself". Most importantly to continue in my life, my God-given life ministry to bless those He had called me to bless, no longer carrying that incident as a baggage.
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