Friday, December 02, 2005

Songs before Christ

Some of you are curious about the songs that were composed before I know Christ. Because they were composed in my pre-mp3 player days, I don't have them on audio record. These are some of the titles of these songs in a by-gone age:

1) 幻想 (Fantasy)
2) 友谊 (Friendship)
3) 无奈 (Helpless)

And this is the lyrics of 《友谊》, a sampling of what was composed then. This was for a friend at a time when I thought that my friendship with her was over.

在那黑暗的生日天 我们最后一次见面
(In that dark birthday, we meet for the last time)
表面虽然和气 心里却空虚
(Although superficially fine, feeling empty inside)
因为找不到共同话题
(Because we weren't connecting)

在这黑暗的雨天里 我不禁又想起你
(In this dark rainy day, you, I can't help thinking)
想起我们的友谊 可能就此结闭
(Thinking about our friendship, possibly ending)
心里觉后悔 却无能为力
(Full of regrets but helplessly standing)

为什么我们以前不结伴同行
(Why were we previously not always agreeing)
却能毫不费力的保存友谊?
(Friendship still effortlessly keeping?)
现在距离愈远 思想愈异
(Now the further we drift apart, more we are incompatible)
这是结束的前奏曲
(This is the beginning of the end)

我知道倘若我们勉强在一起
(I know that even if we force our time together)
也会不知不觉地保持距离
(Unconsciously we'll keep our minds apart)
现在你走你地 各分东西
(Now you'll walk your way, different directions we'll take)
七年的担子放下 坦然分离
(7 years of burden I'll put down, walking away open-heartedly)

Looking back, I thank God for the joy I have in Him. My viewpoint of the world was so dark and my dependence on people and relationships so much more clingy that my sense of happiness and depression is a direct correlation of how well the people around me are treating me. Still unable to shake this off entirely but at least, I know and thus can remind myself of the reality that in Him entirely, I place my life, and thus my emotions.

May we always walk fully in Him.

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