Friday, August 26, 2005

Conversations with non-believers

Unbeliever: "Do you know what's a psychic?"

Me: (Just knowing that it's going to be a theological debate... again, whether I like it or not) "It's a person who is somehow deceived into thinking that they have extra-ordinary powers." (Started praying for appropriate answer)

Unbeliever: "You know ah, I've just been reading this book, "(Some name), a biography of a psychic (or something along these lines), and it's very interesting. He's a psychologist who does hypnotherapy and it's amazing how people, who never knew each other are involved in past lives, how 1 person had killed another in a previous life and how this affect their current lives............"

Me: Erm..... Oh is it?...... That's interesting....... (Mind complete blank as to giving an appropriate answer)

The person probably walked away thinking that this Christian is in agreement with him that people have past lives.

Don't you just get really frustrated when you are trying to vegetate and people spring these spiritual issues with you? I've since stopped being surprised that these conversations only start when I'm either down, trying to relax, vegetating etc....

I mean can't these conversations start right after my quiet time or something?!?!

On the other hand, when I do have appropriate answers or if I'm the person who starts these conversations, phrasing my answers as gently as possible, the other person will feel offended that I'm being a "pig-minded Christian who refuses to accept that their point of view could be equally valid".

You just can't win.

Alot of them walk away thinking that if you have 'lost the debate', this once and for all proves Christianity is 'wrong/not the only way to God'. (Sometimes, even the Christian feels the same way too after the above 1 of the 2 outcomes happen).

Thank God that the truth of salvation is not dependent on how well the debate went (although it sure feels like that!), feelings or what the other person thinks. The foundation is Christ and Christ only - his life, deeds, death and resurrection that shows the acceptability of His sacrifice for our sins and proves Him to be the only way to the Father. How an individual responds does not prove or disprove the truth, but rather whether he/she is safe and under cover from the implications of this truth.

So yes, it's important that we are aware that we do not need to be responsible for how the debate went and how the other party react. Yet at the same time, I think there are definitely actions a Christian can do for His glory:

i) Memorise scripture (What great advice for myself :D ) I've found that at times of stress, it's things that are internalized that will come to the tip of my head. "Out of the fullness of your heart, your mouth speaks" (Think it's somewhere in proverbs, anybody have any idea which part of the bible it comes from?) This will also enable us to "be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. " (1 Pet 3:15)

ii) Always respond gently and with respect but to do it with wisdom, even if engaging in debate is the last thing that you want to do. Sometimes, the person truly just wants to connect with you by sharing what he/she has come across, perhaps the love of Christ may be experienced when we took the time out to connect with them - even if discussing these issues is the last thing that you want to do.

iii) Steer the conversation towards a discussion of Christ as early as possible. This is good for 2 reasons: Firstly, it's impossible for us to be experts in every topic under the sun. Secondly, even if we are experts in the area that the unbeliever is discussing (e.g in the example above, it'll be reincarnation and past lives), debating on that, even successfully will cause the other person to feel wrong ->negative ->Tendency is not to listen anymore. Now that I have some time to think about it, 1 appropriate way I could have gone about the above example is "How will knowing more about psychic powers and past lives bring you closer to God?" It's natural then to discuss with them objectively the possibility that Christ is the only way to Him.

Any other thoughts?

5 comments:

Unknown said...

Hi, hope you don't mind me reading, I'm not a stalker don't worry ;) Just another reader out there

Good points there, especially the second: the person shouldn't have problems with how we speak, but if at all, the content of our speech.

The third is especially hard though...there's really like 1001 contexts that we coud find ourselves in... =S

Ms Carpe Diem said...

Hi Gunblad3

No problem, blog is meant for public viewing, thanks for dropping by.

Also, thanks for sharing your point of view. Hope to see more of your comments soon. :)

Anonymous said...

Hi,

This is Hee Yeow, Daniel Chan showed me your blog and it is indeed interesting to read.

I guess you were "confronted" by a non believer and kinda did not want to engage further.

Sometimes, it pays not to debate about religion as I truly found out as a Buddhist can just equally preach on the teachings behind Buddhism and claim their religion to be the "only truth".

In the end, it is not flowery words or ideals back by eloquent speeches that make one religion "better" over another.

There are always points of ambigenty in the teachings or literature of any religion and thus almost anyone can just pick on such ambigenty and claim the religion to be "false"

Thus, ignore them and practice your faith as I believe that in the end if the religion preaches good and kindness, it will leads us all to the a "good end".

Sorry, the last part is something of my personal belief...so...haha

Ms Carpe Diem said...

A brother-in-christ whom I have had the opportunity and pleasure to reconnect with recently has this to share after reading my blog entry:

'Why not share with the other person what you believe, albeit in a manner that is non-confrontational but something along these lines "Really? (but do not sound too cynical please....) that's interesting! (not too condescending please....), i believe that we only live once and that we should therefore live life right the first time round."

You may then wish to share with him or her that you used to believe in those too (didn't you? :P) , until you believed in Christ. Usually, sharing in the form of a personal experience will come across as less judgmental and perhaps even more effective. The apostle Paul would not have been such a great preacher if not for his infamous past as a pharisee and a murderer of Christians, would he? Life experiences are avenues through which God speaks to us and mould us and provide us with tools for preaching the gospel.'

Ms Carpe Diem said...

Hi Hee Yeow

So glad to see your comments. Did not see your response in the current volley of e-mails from our class alumni, how have you been?

You hit the nail upon the head when you say that 'it is not flowery words or ideals back by eloquent speeches that make one religion "better" over another.'

Also, in pointing out there are always points of ambiguity in the teachings or literature of any religion, would I be right to understand that we both feel religions are ultimately man-made right?

For contradiction and fickleness in teachings is a paradox to God isn't it? Only men will unwittingly be contradictory and fickle.

Like you, I (you must remember how anti-Christian I was!) used to believe that as long as the religion preaches goodness and kindness, all will be well with that person.

If we stop to think about it, can any of us reach God's perfect goodness, even if we do our very best? If we can't, what makes us worthy of a good end?

Ultimately, what makes a religion true or false is its ability to make us right with God right?

Christ has given all believers the great commission to preach the good news to all nations. We preach, not to win debates or arguments but because we are concerned for the ultimate destiny of family and friends. The gospel offers a right relationship with God and peace, genuine peace through the forgiveness of sins. We wish we could be more persuasive and that more people will be saved but the ultimate decision of whether to accept or reject the good news depends on each individual.

Perhaps we may consider the possibility that Christianity may give the "truer" account of the nature of the human condition?

Here are some resources that may be of help to you:

10 reasons to believe in the Christian Faith: http://www.rbc.org/rtb/
Answers for seekers: http://www.carm.org/seekers.htm
Other questions that skeptics ask:
http://www.carm.org/questions_skeptics.htm (which includes the question, "I believe in reincarnation, so why do I need Christianity?")

"Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you." If a person is sincerely seeking the truth with all his/her heart, he/she will find it. Praying for you that the Lord will reveal His truth to you as you seek.

Thank you for sharing your viewpoint respectfully. Really glad to see your presence here and hope to see you soon at the next gathering.