Thoughts of a Gentleman to 'Men Pursue and Women Shop'

[Post moved up for same reason as 'Men Pursue and Women SHOP']

For people who are too lazy to read through my previous entry, this is the summary:

What is the wisest thing a woman can do in the domain of relationships especially if she is obsessively attracted to a man?

Serve all (including her intended) as siblings-in-christ
Hope in the Lord
Staying Open to all - including people who are not her intended
Entrust all to the Lord in Prayer

In addition, a very articulate, very deep thinking and very eligible brother-in-christ (he calls himself 'DipStick' to which I disagree) has this to add for women. For me, it was another reminder to treat all equally as siblings-in-christ (and not to put on my running shoes from attractive people ;-) ):

Just wondering... what is soo wrong (if at all) to let the guy know that you are also keen? I mean why the need to be self-restrained when relating to a guy who is interested in you? That is something I don't understand. I have spoken to several older married Christian couples and they are people whom I admire greatly and have wonderful marriages, they too think that this hot cold business should be dispense with bec it is just not helpful esp when we are older. The reasons being that the older you are, the more you don't want to push around and impose on others...particularly a woman's feelings and emotions. I have seen many good guys turning away bec they really don't know what the girl is about! They respect the girl and her wishes and trust that she knows what she is doing. So in indicating otherwise, the chasing process is cut short.

The older you are the less likely you will let your youthful high low emotions rule your heart - which is not a bad thing cos that is where stability comes from - but yet the girls in not reciprocating doesn't even give the guys the chance to build up the chasing process such that when the interest is reciprocated, the emotions will usually follow. Emotions are good and totally necessary for a healthy courtship and marriage but dictating that the guy must have X level of emotions to qualify and using the intensity of his chase as a measure of this X level of emotion is perhaps inaccurate and misleading to say the least. All girls and definitely guys as well wants to be accepted and loved. And it is a seriously scary process to open up your heart to another. Seriously scary. So girls, why do you want to make it much harder for a guy to open up by pounding on them with hot and cold treatment?

Don't get me wrong, the guy is still to do the chasing, but girls, please react la! Hahaha

That is my point. Nothing else. As for leaving it in the Father's control, yes definitely. Bec for myself, I realized that I have little wisdom when it comes to choosing who I want to have as my helper. Butyou know what... for many people, there isn't always that one singular person for that guy/girl. Usually it is a class of people to choose from and God by His grace permits this freedom, but being cautious and asking for his guidance is an excellent move.

Do I feel strongly about this whole thing? Yes, bec I see one too many people jeopardise their chances bec they are too restrained and or too careful and don't give the other person a chance to even get to know the other person since 90% of the person can only be discovered in deep lengthy conversations and daily actions so judging the guy/girl up front, unless you are a superduper psychologist its beyong most people - this goes for both guys and girls =)