Guarding our Hearts

Triggered by Pearly's post, I thought about how as girls, desiring intimate relationships, we have a tendency to give our heart quickly to our intended. Our imaginations give hopeful meaning to the most insignificant of communication, and without a thorough consideration of the intended's character, our hearts fly at the slightest hint of mutual chemistry.

My brother-in-Christ gave me advice that should filter away people who either appear ungodly or whose character is yet to be fully known.

Make 3 independent lists of:
1) Qualities in a man/woman which fully please God
2) Qualities in a man/woman which instantly attract me (truthfully, not considering whether these characteristics are godly or ungodly)
3) Qualities in a man I can be a good helper to/in a woman I can lead towards godliness

It was eye-opening when I reviewed the lists after doing this simple exercise.

By making the concerted effort to keep in mind the discrepancy between attractive qualities versus God-pleasing/encouragement of good helper/leader qualities or the awareness that we still don't know if the intended shows God-pleasing qualities, it will help to prevent our heart flying along with the mutual chemistry.

However what should we do if knowledge of each other grows and we become more convinced that the intended reasonably exhibits qualities in lists 1 and 3?

Even if he is smsing/e-mailing/msn messaging you every single day, perhaps even tens of communication every hour, keep to the position that he is only a brother-in-christ and he is only treating you as a sister-in-christ until he expresses the wish to bring the friendship to another level. If necessary, reduce the frequency of one-to-one contact to the point where you are fully able to see him solely as a brother-in-christ.

It works minisculy in giving an imaginative girl like me a measure of guard so for you who are more down-to-earth, I'm sure it'll give even better results. ;) In this way, may we be like Ruth, less distracted by subjects God never meant for us to have and be able to fully focus on what He wants us to do with the lives He had given us.