It is not unusual to come across Christmas cards' greetings along the lines of "May love, joy and peace be with you during this season."
So it was a good reminder when I attended ORPC's candlelight service on Christmas eve and came across this thought through Rev Teo Yew Tiong's sermon, "The peace of Christmas"
(Note: I did not take notes during the sermon so it is based on my sketchy remembrance. Please feel free to correct inaccuracies.)
Carols always bring about feelings of peace and serenity. Consider the song "Silent Night"
“平安夜，圣善夜。”(Literally translated: Peaceful Night, Holy Night)
It always conveys a sense of security, serenity and rest. Yet looking at the world today, news of war is always at the edge of our consciousness; famine, natural disasters and catastrophes are still upon us. Has peace come upon us after Christmas?
In the first noel, the baby Jesus is born in a manger. The wise men from the east in coming to look at the baby was told by an angel to take another route home to avoid the King Herod, who was insecure about his throne and wary about Jesus' destiny as king and the implications on his kingship. His insecurity had led to all Hebrew male children below the age of 2 to be killed which led to the flight by Joseph and his family. Did peace come supernaturally during the first Christmas?
Nearly all the apostles, early disciples and followers of Jesus were persecuted, were bankrupted, were maimed, were stoned, were killed by the sword, were exiled. Did they experience peace because they had chosen to follow Jesus?
Jesus had said, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace." in the Last Supper, the night before he was tried by the governor, Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried. Was that peace a lie?
*But Jesus have also said, "I have overcome the world." which was proven in His later resurrection. He also said "As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you." Thus the peace that Jesus spoke of, is not the peace that we understand in the world.
It is peace with God. "For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit." (Eph: 2:14-17)
So are you now at peace with God? Have you now come to the Father through Jesus Christ? Have you experienced the true peace of Christmas and fully understand the meaning of:
“平安夜，圣善夜。”(Peaceful night, holy night) ?
Note: For the section marked *, I've forgotten what he had said so those things were most probably my interpretation.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Trusting Him with all my heart
On the mountain top of faith, luxuriating in and in thanksgiving of the blessings He had showered on me which had foolishly led to impetuous words that had probably contributed to a sister-in-christ falling in her walk when the last door was shut insultingly in her face.
This led me to ponder on God's timing, why some doors are opened and when, why some are made to walk through the journey until the last door is shut in our faces and to reflect on the journey I have had so far.
Intoxicated as I am on my high now, it is hard to remember that doors were not always open for me. Even in this year, I also had my share of travelling on with hope until the last door was slammed shut in my face. I remembered that time, bearing with everything in His name, suppressing my natural instincts with few (specifically one at most two) allies so that His name may be glorified. And then comes the time when it had seemed my deliverance was near. I travelled along with hope, my steps getting getting lighter as I thought I saw my glory is near. And then, "Bam!", that door was shut in my face.
It was harder to bear than if the doors along the way had not been opened at all. I could no longer walk, but only crawl; I could no longer look people in the eyes, but only slump along like a worm; I could no longer plead for mercy but only despair in my heart.
It appears that at this point, there could be one of two possible reactions.
The first is to think that He has betrayed us, to focus on the pain, grow cold in the heart and stop trusting Him. Though salvation is not lost, we start ignoring all that our conscience had told us is glorifying to Him. Though we may not do what is specifically wrong, we are also no longer motivated to do what is pleasing to His sight. We shut Him out, do all we can to numb the pain, be tempted by the perceived pleasure of sin and sleepwalk through our worthless lives half-dead. We gloried that we are able to survive by the strength of our own hearts.
By God's grace and the support of 2 friends-in-christ, I was painfully led through the second path. I had cried out to Him in my pain. With tears streaming freely in the silence of my room, I had whimpered out my hurt and experienced fully what it had felt like to be a worm - despised and rejected by the world. I begged to be taken out of this situation. I wailed out the injustice that though some of my other brothers and sisters in christ were drinking and making merry, they were deaf to my cries and blind to my plight.
This pitiful sight quickly gave way to unmitigated rage - against Him!
Why do You put me through this and let my friends-in-christ make merry? Why do You lead me down a false path and had given me false hope? Is it Your pleasure to toy with me? Why do You even put me through this situation? Have I not done my best to please You? Do You hate me so much?
For weeks, I had raged against Him, like a petulant child throwing her fists against her strong and controlled father. I had probably also lashed against people who had unwittingly crossed me that time.
Until spent, was I able to remember His faithfulness to me, His personal call to me so long ago when He called me to be His child. I remembered His personal love and how He had taken care of me for so long. Would He abandon me now?
Only then, could I pray, "My Father, thy will be done. I trust that everything that had happened to those You had called, happened for good and for Your purpose. Father, though I cannot understand why this had happened to me, I know You are for me. What can men do to me if You are my helper?"
And slowly, He re-established my road, He gave me strength to persevere and climb up. He provided, sometimes quietly and subtly, sometimes with signs so clear I thought He wanted me to see clearly that it's His work, blur as I am. Until I reach the mountaintop that I am at now, and rejoice in thanksgiving for all the good He had given me and all the blessings He had lavished upon me - My current comfortable circumstances; friends I can count on; superiors who trust and think highly of me; colleagues who like and are comfortable with me.
For how could I appreciate this good, if I had not been through the valley dark and deep? How could I rejoice in my blessings, if I had not once lost all? Why would I want His presence, if I had not known the darkness of the world?
So taste and know that He is good. See how He saves those who trust Him. Experience how He deals bountifully with you.
And this could only come when we trust Him with all our hearts. Whether it is crying out to Him as our Comforter in our pain, or when He lovingly takes our rage against Him in grace, or even when we depended on His strength to persevere on when we are spent.
To our God and Father be glory, to our God and Father be praise, to our God and Father be worship, forever and ever always.
This led me to ponder on God's timing, why some doors are opened and when, why some are made to walk through the journey until the last door is shut in our faces and to reflect on the journey I have had so far.
Intoxicated as I am on my high now, it is hard to remember that doors were not always open for me. Even in this year, I also had my share of travelling on with hope until the last door was slammed shut in my face. I remembered that time, bearing with everything in His name, suppressing my natural instincts with few (specifically one at most two) allies so that His name may be glorified. And then comes the time when it had seemed my deliverance was near. I travelled along with hope, my steps getting getting lighter as I thought I saw my glory is near. And then, "Bam!", that door was shut in my face.
It was harder to bear than if the doors along the way had not been opened at all. I could no longer walk, but only crawl; I could no longer look people in the eyes, but only slump along like a worm; I could no longer plead for mercy but only despair in my heart.
It appears that at this point, there could be one of two possible reactions.
The first is to think that He has betrayed us, to focus on the pain, grow cold in the heart and stop trusting Him. Though salvation is not lost, we start ignoring all that our conscience had told us is glorifying to Him. Though we may not do what is specifically wrong, we are also no longer motivated to do what is pleasing to His sight. We shut Him out, do all we can to numb the pain, be tempted by the perceived pleasure of sin and sleepwalk through our worthless lives half-dead. We gloried that we are able to survive by the strength of our own hearts.
By God's grace and the support of 2 friends-in-christ, I was painfully led through the second path. I had cried out to Him in my pain. With tears streaming freely in the silence of my room, I had whimpered out my hurt and experienced fully what it had felt like to be a worm - despised and rejected by the world. I begged to be taken out of this situation. I wailed out the injustice that though some of my other brothers and sisters in christ were drinking and making merry, they were deaf to my cries and blind to my plight.
This pitiful sight quickly gave way to unmitigated rage - against Him!
Why do You put me through this and let my friends-in-christ make merry? Why do You lead me down a false path and had given me false hope? Is it Your pleasure to toy with me? Why do You even put me through this situation? Have I not done my best to please You? Do You hate me so much?
For weeks, I had raged against Him, like a petulant child throwing her fists against her strong and controlled father. I had probably also lashed against people who had unwittingly crossed me that time.
Until spent, was I able to remember His faithfulness to me, His personal call to me so long ago when He called me to be His child. I remembered His personal love and how He had taken care of me for so long. Would He abandon me now?
Only then, could I pray, "My Father, thy will be done. I trust that everything that had happened to those You had called, happened for good and for Your purpose. Father, though I cannot understand why this had happened to me, I know You are for me. What can men do to me if You are my helper?"
And slowly, He re-established my road, He gave me strength to persevere and climb up. He provided, sometimes quietly and subtly, sometimes with signs so clear I thought He wanted me to see clearly that it's His work, blur as I am. Until I reach the mountaintop that I am at now, and rejoice in thanksgiving for all the good He had given me and all the blessings He had lavished upon me - My current comfortable circumstances; friends I can count on; superiors who trust and think highly of me; colleagues who like and are comfortable with me.
For how could I appreciate this good, if I had not been through the valley dark and deep? How could I rejoice in my blessings, if I had not once lost all? Why would I want His presence, if I had not known the darkness of the world?
So taste and know that He is good. See how He saves those who trust Him. Experience how He deals bountifully with you.
And this could only come when we trust Him with all our hearts. Whether it is crying out to Him as our Comforter in our pain, or when He lovingly takes our rage against Him in grace, or even when we depended on His strength to persevere on when we are spent.
To our God and Father be glory, to our God and Father be praise, to our God and Father be worship, forever and ever always.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Being Prepared for God's Coming Pt 1
Intermittently attending a Lunchtime Bible Study in St Andrews' Cathedral every Thursday that focuses on the apocalyptic books and gave one interpretation of how the end-times may be like as understood by the scriptures and interpreted by world events today.
I leave as mystified as I had entered (with a huge headache to boot) but this year's bible study on the apocalypse hit me with 2 points:
i) Everything, including the pain, suffering and tribulations, happens for the glory of God
ii) That the end will come, VERY soon (Perhaps even in this generation!)
My immediate reaction was of fear. What if I were to live a (relatively) blameless life and then in one weak moment to deny Christ? Would I be condemned for that - as one who had never been truly chosen in the first place? Would I lose my eternal inheritance in that one moment as Esau did for stew? Would I be set aside as God's anointed (1 Jn 2:20) as with Saul?
God's personal care is seen even in this issue. "By chance", (as if anything can really happen by chance!) my bible study for the day was on Psalm 17.
"I have called upon You, for You will hear me, O God;
Incline your ear to me and hear my speech.
Show your marvellous lovingkindness by Your right hand,
O You who save those who trust in You....
As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when I awake in your likeness." (Ps 17:6-7)
Hamster's timely reminder also led to this bible verse:
"Therefore, brothers,since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful....
Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. For,
"Yet a little while,
and the coming one will come and will not delay;
but my righteous one shall live by faith,
and if he shrinks back,
my soul has no pleasure in him."
But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls." (Heb 10:19-23,35-30)
The next question then that struck me was, "What does being prepared for God's Coming Again means?" (cont in Pt 2)
I leave as mystified as I had entered (with a huge headache to boot) but this year's bible study on the apocalypse hit me with 2 points:
i) Everything, including the pain, suffering and tribulations, happens for the glory of God
ii) That the end will come, VERY soon (Perhaps even in this generation!)
My immediate reaction was of fear. What if I were to live a (relatively) blameless life and then in one weak moment to deny Christ? Would I be condemned for that - as one who had never been truly chosen in the first place? Would I lose my eternal inheritance in that one moment as Esau did for stew? Would I be set aside as God's anointed (1 Jn 2:20) as with Saul?
God's personal care is seen even in this issue. "By chance", (as if anything can really happen by chance!) my bible study for the day was on Psalm 17.
"I have called upon You, for You will hear me, O God;
Incline your ear to me and hear my speech.
Show your marvellous lovingkindness by Your right hand,
O You who save those who trust in You....
As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when I awake in your likeness." (Ps 17:6-7)
Hamster's timely reminder also led to this bible verse:
"Therefore, brothers,since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful....
Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. For,
"Yet a little while,
and the coming one will come and will not delay;
but my righteous one shall live by faith,
and if he shrinks back,
my soul has no pleasure in him."
But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls." (Heb 10:19-23,35-30)
The next question then that struck me was, "What does being prepared for God's Coming Again means?" (cont in Pt 2)
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Verse in my October Calendar
"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far he removed our transgressions from us." - Ps 103:11-12
Excerpt from a colleague
A colleague sent a thank you e-mail after celebrating her birthday which contained a phrase that made me stop to ponder:
“A realization I had a few years ago, which still stays with me is that the birthday should be a day to celebrate God’s creation, that is, to celebrate the fact that we are created by Him. Since then, each birthday (with or without partying) is a reminder to cherish life as we are miraculously and wonderfully made in His image, with a purpose on earth.”
Happy birthday, sister.
“A realization I had a few years ago, which still stays with me is that the birthday should be a day to celebrate God’s creation, that is, to celebrate the fact that we are created by Him. Since then, each birthday (with or without partying) is a reminder to cherish life as we are miraculously and wonderfully made in His image, with a purpose on earth.”
Happy birthday, sister.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Reflections from Rudy Hu
Dear friends-in-christ,
Just received this from Rudy via email and it was a sobering reminder. May you be edified as I was from this post.
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: 17th Oct
(Places have been edited to keep confidentiality. Other than that, the text was posted as it is received.)
Hi friends,
I have just lost a friend. His name is Vick, a colleague. I know Vick since my first day at work. He was assigned as my buddy, a person who helped new staff to adapt to his new office. Given his character, it was easy for us to get along very well. And as years went by, I regard him as more than just a colleague. He's a dear friend who shares interest in music, arts, photography, science, food, to name a few.
Vick passed away on Friday, 13 Oct 2006, about 6pm. It was a very sudden shock for all staff. A colleague and I rushed to NUH on that afternoon when he was still in ICU. We prayed to God to have mercy on him and I made a promise to boldly proclaim the gospel to him when he recovers... but he never did. Vick is an Indian and he's kinda free thinker. He knew about Christianity but only regarded it as a historical fact, I think.
This is my sixth year at my workplace and I had spent most of my time working with Vick as a team. Our cubicles are next to each other. Today is my second day in office after he's gone. It's hard not to be sad when you realised a friend who were sitting next to you five days a week now no longer in this world. I have previously lost three friends from the Christian Fellowship (POSA) in University of Indonesia. They are brothers and sister with whom I serve together in the POSA music ministry. When they're gone, I know and am sure that they have put their hope in Christ. But it's different with Vick. His departure is too early for me and for everyone. He has not really understand the good news we have in Jesus. This is what makes me really sad.
I know that death is a reality of life and I can accept his departure. But I do regret that during five and a half years of our friendship I don't really seriously talk to Vick about Christ and his love for us. I should have done that when he was hospitalised a few months ago. He looked better after being discharged. However, I lost the battle against time. I was to slow to speak about the Truth to him. God, please forgive me... I learnt my lesson and I repent.
Rudy Hu
"For me, to live is CHRIST and to die is gain"
Just received this from Rudy via email and it was a sobering reminder. May you be edified as I was from this post.
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: 17th Oct
(Places have been edited to keep confidentiality. Other than that, the text was posted as it is received.)
Hi friends,
I have just lost a friend. His name is Vick, a colleague. I know Vick since my first day at work. He was assigned as my buddy, a person who helped new staff to adapt to his new office. Given his character, it was easy for us to get along very well. And as years went by, I regard him as more than just a colleague. He's a dear friend who shares interest in music, arts, photography, science, food, to name a few.
Vick passed away on Friday, 13 Oct 2006, about 6pm. It was a very sudden shock for all staff. A colleague and I rushed to NUH on that afternoon when he was still in ICU. We prayed to God to have mercy on him and I made a promise to boldly proclaim the gospel to him when he recovers... but he never did. Vick is an Indian and he's kinda free thinker. He knew about Christianity but only regarded it as a historical fact, I think.
This is my sixth year at my workplace and I had spent most of my time working with Vick as a team. Our cubicles are next to each other. Today is my second day in office after he's gone. It's hard not to be sad when you realised a friend who were sitting next to you five days a week now no longer in this world. I have previously lost three friends from the Christian Fellowship (POSA) in University of Indonesia. They are brothers and sister with whom I serve together in the POSA music ministry. When they're gone, I know and am sure that they have put their hope in Christ. But it's different with Vick. His departure is too early for me and for everyone. He has not really understand the good news we have in Jesus. This is what makes me really sad.
I know that death is a reality of life and I can accept his departure. But I do regret that during five and a half years of our friendship I don't really seriously talk to Vick about Christ and his love for us. I should have done that when he was hospitalised a few months ago. He looked better after being discharged. However, I lost the battle against time. I was to slow to speak about the Truth to him. God, please forgive me... I learnt my lesson and I repent.
Rudy Hu
"For me, to live is CHRIST and to die is gain"
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
El Shaddai
Led worship in song with this song and many people have commented on how they are reminded of the firm foundation in God through this song. I'm including the lyrics here for remembrance:
Hebrew Translations:
El Shaddai – God Almighty
El Elyonna Adonai – God in the highest, Oh Lord
Erkamkana Adonai – We will love you, Oh Lord
El Shaddai
El Shaddai, El Shaddai
El Elyonna Adonai
Age to age you’re still the same
By the power of your name
El Shaddai, El Shaddai
Erkamkana Adonai
We will praise and lift you high
El Shaddai
Through your love and through the ram
You saved the son of Abraham
Through the power of your hand
You turned the sea into dry land
To the outcast on her knees
You were the God who really sees
And by your might You set Your Children free
Through the years you made it clear
That the time of Christ was near
Though the people couldn’t see
What Messiah ought to be
Though your Word contained the plan
They just could not understand
Your most awesome work was done
In Your Son
Hebrew Translations:
El Shaddai – God Almighty
El Elyonna Adonai – God in the highest, Oh Lord
Erkamkana Adonai – We will love you, Oh Lord
El Shaddai
El Shaddai, El Shaddai
El Elyonna Adonai
Age to age you’re still the same
By the power of your name
El Shaddai, El Shaddai
Erkamkana Adonai
We will praise and lift you high
El Shaddai
Through your love and through the ram
You saved the son of Abraham
Through the power of your hand
You turned the sea into dry land
To the outcast on her knees
You were the God who really sees
And by your might You set Your Children free
Through the years you made it clear
That the time of Christ was near
Though the people couldn’t see
What Messiah ought to be
Though your Word contained the plan
They just could not understand
Your most awesome work was done
In Your Son
Saturday, September 30, 2006
A defense of BSF
Quite a few people have heard my complaints about how some of the questions are phrased in BSF and may have left with the mistaken ideas about it as well as my position on it. The fact is, currently, I'm still persevering in the system and fully intend to sign up for it again next year!
Like any other man-made system, including church congregations, there are flaws but would I have been able to come up with a better system myself?
Fact is, this system is the only system so far that had encouraged my daily QT, bible reading and prayer time. It has brought into my life friends-in-Christ who has the common and strong desire to read and understand what God is saying - free of the prejudices and biases of men's interpretation. Our discussions, encompassing all the lay people from different church backgrounds and spiritual experiences, do have the effect of broadening up our minds and gaining joy that our God is the head of a diverse yet united Church.
An added surprise is that I've come to know BSF leaders - humble, caring and showing genuine desire to do God's will in their lives - who upheld me in prayer, supported me when I was down and cared enough to contact me every week to find out how I'm doing.
Their structure also encouraged me to go through the same bible passages 4 times - first by myself while working through the questions each day, second in group discussion, third in a lecture by lay people and last in BSF notes (which are the same no matter which country we go to) that helped me understand the international perspective.
The truth is for me, this simple discipline of reading the bible daily, quietly; of weekly patiently really listening to others' answers and squelching my natural desire to interrupt with my "model" answer; of humbly willing myself to be taught by another lay person; of reading the BSF notes with an open mind; had helped me grow in knowledge and understanding of what God is saying. And with it, the consistent reminder of the greatest Hope and Joy in my salvation that leads to the Peace that surpasseth all understanding.
In the end, it is not THE ONE bible seminar or workshop that will MOVE me. Ultimately, it is these simple, consistent disciplines that help me LIVE.
Like any other man-made system, including church congregations, there are flaws but would I have been able to come up with a better system myself?
Fact is, this system is the only system so far that had encouraged my daily QT, bible reading and prayer time. It has brought into my life friends-in-Christ who has the common and strong desire to read and understand what God is saying - free of the prejudices and biases of men's interpretation. Our discussions, encompassing all the lay people from different church backgrounds and spiritual experiences, do have the effect of broadening up our minds and gaining joy that our God is the head of a diverse yet united Church.
An added surprise is that I've come to know BSF leaders - humble, caring and showing genuine desire to do God's will in their lives - who upheld me in prayer, supported me when I was down and cared enough to contact me every week to find out how I'm doing.
Their structure also encouraged me to go through the same bible passages 4 times - first by myself while working through the questions each day, second in group discussion, third in a lecture by lay people and last in BSF notes (which are the same no matter which country we go to) that helped me understand the international perspective.
The truth is for me, this simple discipline of reading the bible daily, quietly; of weekly patiently really listening to others' answers and squelching my natural desire to interrupt with my "model" answer; of humbly willing myself to be taught by another lay person; of reading the BSF notes with an open mind; had helped me grow in knowledge and understanding of what God is saying. And with it, the consistent reminder of the greatest Hope and Joy in my salvation that leads to the Peace that surpasseth all understanding.
In the end, it is not THE ONE bible seminar or workshop that will MOVE me. Ultimately, it is these simple, consistent disciplines that help me LIVE.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Repentance
Dedicated to D
"I am happy, because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. I wrote to you (so) that before God you could see for yourselves how devoted to us you are. By all this we are encouraged." - 2 Cor 7:9-13
""John's baptism was a baptism of repentance. He told the people to believe in the one coming after him, that is, in Jesus." - Acts 19:4
"Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire." - Matt 3:8, 10
Have you ever felt that crushing weight of guilt? When you know you had done wrong to a person and had hurt the person in some way. It doesn't matter how innocuous or minute the action is, or even if the other person knows that you were the one responsible for his/her hurt, God and you know that your action was meant in viciousness and a pound of blood and flesh was what you were going for.
The world rewards hard-heartedness: I've witnessed people who had ruthlessly sacrificed the friends around them to advance in their careers/business/social circles; who for their own gratification secretly two-timed that they don't have to be burdened to one person and his/her imperfections; who for thirty pieces of silver sacrificed the servant king.
I've tried talking with one of them, thinking that there is possibly a ray of hope and was inwardly shocked when the person sincerely responded, "This is purely a business transaction. She should have considered carefully before she committed. What happened with her is not my business."
It often seemed that in this world, repentance is for the weak, for those who can't stand to have others have a bad opinion of themselves, for those who suffer from a masochistic complex.
In this world, you are punished for your repentance. Contrast Germany and Japan in their involvement in WWII and the difference in price they pay because of their (or lack of) repentance. Or perhaps even imagine the (happy?) day if Osama is to surrender for atrocities done during 9/11 because he is repentant for what he has done? The high profile trials it will attract, the humiliation he will be made to go through. Haughty rebellion is in vogue and it makes economic sense. The day I'm in your hands is the day of my downfall. In fact, the higher the price I can exact from you in your pursuit of my justice, the stronger and more powerful I am seen to be.
The world rewards the unrepentant rebel.
It doesn't make sense to repent - to admit you are wrong and turn to what is right, if you are not a Christ follower, does it?
It would only happen the day when we live by the belief that "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever." (1 Pet 1:24-25), won't it?
Surely it will only come to the person who "Praise the LORD," who knows that "Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who finds great delight in his commands. " (Ps 112:1), shouldn't it?
So though the guilt is great, the worldly returns are unsavoury and great is the worldly reward for the rebel, Jesus' invitation is this, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt 11:28-30)
And you may rejoice even if God chooses to discipline you, for He disciplines you as a Son or Daughter, for the making in the image of Christ Jesus.
And you may then experience what He means when He said, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." (Matt 5:4-5)
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Sacraments
Definition: A Christian rite that mediates divine grace—a holy Mystery (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacraments, 14 Sept 2006)
BD: Hey you want to go for a prayer retreat?
Me: Great idea! When, where is it and who is conducted by?
BD: Just to let you know it's Catholic. But it's very good! They even have a priest who will guide you in your prayer journey and with whom you can confess your sins.
Me: [Heretic!!!!] Err... you know that there shouldn't be anyone, besides Jesus, who will intercede in our prayers right?
BD: Of course I know lah. But don't you sometimes feel lost in your prayer life? If you will be stumbled, then just go for the prayer retreat and don't go to the sermon sessions or to the priest. But weren't you just complaining that you have not been seeking the Lord enough?
Me: You may have a point, let me pray through this first.
BD: You know, sometimes I think Catholics have something right. Before SL goes for her business trips, she will visit her priest and confess all her sins, so that our Father will hear her prayers in her trip. Sometimes having someone to confess to and pray for you can be a restful thing to do.
(pause)
BD: I used to be a Presbyterian so I can say this. Sometimes, you all get far too involved in Word knowledge and pharasaic in prescribing dos and don'ts in spiritual acts that you all forgot to have a relationship and just go ahead and do things with the living Christ.
Another day:
YP: I must save more this month else I can't fulfill my giving of the first-fruits.
Me: Oh, know what I do, I'll just give my portion in the first weekend after pay day and not worry about it until my next pay day....
YP: No, I'm not talking about tithing, I'm talking about giving of the first fruits. At the beginning of the year, we will pledge an amount we will give to the church in addition to our tithing. That is the giving of my firstfruits loh.
Me: [Unbiblical! Word-faith teaching!] Hmmm...
YP: So I must save up more so that I can bless my church for God's work.
Me: Hmmm... (pondering about my priorities in money management)
Living in the joy of the truth of only Christ being my intercessor with God, my Father, most times I had neglected the importance of the sacraments in my daily life. Knowing that sacraments like confession, communion, tithing and prayer are not necessary for my ascendency upwards when my time comes, I have a tendency to neglect these sacred acts unless I'm obliged to (e.g in congregational activity.)
This leads to all sorts of disturbing symptoms in my life - a vague sense of worrying especially about my future, lack of focus even obvious in the daily tasks that I do, words that betray my real priorities in life. (Which leads to BD's stern rebuke on my worldly values that stumble people just days ago. =P)
Does it come from a false sense of superiority about knowing 'the right things' to do (like they'll bring us closer to Christ)? Or perhaps that the world's delights are so much more seductive than the solid joys of being under God's wings that I sometimes run from His presence? Or maybe it is just that the immediate satisfaction of admiration from people now far outweigh the delayed gratification of praise from our Lord?
"Dear God, Father of Jesus and me because of Him. In Your wisdom, You chose the foolish things of the world to shame the proud. I am sorry for my impetuous judgement that comes from superficial knowledge. Thank you for this season of teaching me to focus on taking away the plank in my eye. Thank you for keeping your eye on me in my past years after coming to You like I'm the apple of your eye.
Grant me the wisdom to know the difference between the acts that displease You from the things that separate Your church. Help me to live by the power of your Holy Spirit a relationship with You, not a self-willed life that derieves its morals from your Word. There are far too many grey areas in life that will stumble me and cause me to fall, perhaps even fall away from You as if I've never been chosen in the first place. But I can rest in what Apostle Paul had said with the wisdom that You had given, "Be confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." In Jesus' name You hear my prayer, Amen."
BD: Hey you want to go for a prayer retreat?
Me: Great idea! When, where is it and who is conducted by?
BD: Just to let you know it's Catholic. But it's very good! They even have a priest who will guide you in your prayer journey and with whom you can confess your sins.
Me: [Heretic!!!!] Err... you know that there shouldn't be anyone, besides Jesus, who will intercede in our prayers right?
BD: Of course I know lah. But don't you sometimes feel lost in your prayer life? If you will be stumbled, then just go for the prayer retreat and don't go to the sermon sessions or to the priest. But weren't you just complaining that you have not been seeking the Lord enough?
Me: You may have a point, let me pray through this first.
BD: You know, sometimes I think Catholics have something right. Before SL goes for her business trips, she will visit her priest and confess all her sins, so that our Father will hear her prayers in her trip. Sometimes having someone to confess to and pray for you can be a restful thing to do.
(pause)
BD: I used to be a Presbyterian so I can say this. Sometimes, you all get far too involved in Word knowledge and pharasaic in prescribing dos and don'ts in spiritual acts that you all forgot to have a relationship and just go ahead and do things with the living Christ.
Another day:
YP: I must save more this month else I can't fulfill my giving of the first-fruits.
Me: Oh, know what I do, I'll just give my portion in the first weekend after pay day and not worry about it until my next pay day....
YP: No, I'm not talking about tithing, I'm talking about giving of the first fruits. At the beginning of the year, we will pledge an amount we will give to the church in addition to our tithing. That is the giving of my firstfruits loh.
Me: [Unbiblical! Word-faith teaching!] Hmmm...
YP: So I must save up more so that I can bless my church for God's work.
Me: Hmmm... (pondering about my priorities in money management)
Living in the joy of the truth of only Christ being my intercessor with God, my Father, most times I had neglected the importance of the sacraments in my daily life. Knowing that sacraments like confession, communion, tithing and prayer are not necessary for my ascendency upwards when my time comes, I have a tendency to neglect these sacred acts unless I'm obliged to (e.g in congregational activity.)
This leads to all sorts of disturbing symptoms in my life - a vague sense of worrying especially about my future, lack of focus even obvious in the daily tasks that I do, words that betray my real priorities in life. (Which leads to BD's stern rebuke on my worldly values that stumble people just days ago. =P)
Does it come from a false sense of superiority about knowing 'the right things' to do (like they'll bring us closer to Christ)? Or perhaps that the world's delights are so much more seductive than the solid joys of being under God's wings that I sometimes run from His presence? Or maybe it is just that the immediate satisfaction of admiration from people now far outweigh the delayed gratification of praise from our Lord?
"Dear God, Father of Jesus and me because of Him. In Your wisdom, You chose the foolish things of the world to shame the proud. I am sorry for my impetuous judgement that comes from superficial knowledge. Thank you for this season of teaching me to focus on taking away the plank in my eye. Thank you for keeping your eye on me in my past years after coming to You like I'm the apple of your eye.
Grant me the wisdom to know the difference between the acts that displease You from the things that separate Your church. Help me to live by the power of your Holy Spirit a relationship with You, not a self-willed life that derieves its morals from your Word. There are far too many grey areas in life that will stumble me and cause me to fall, perhaps even fall away from You as if I've never been chosen in the first place. But I can rest in what Apostle Paul had said with the wisdom that You had given, "Be confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." In Jesus' name You hear my prayer, Amen."
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Holiness, not Happiness
Separate scathing rebukes by 2 brothers-in-christ on respectively my views on singleness and worldliness had gotten me to reflect on my values and motivations in life. (Sisters-in-christ, you need to be less lovingly gentle lah. It's easier for me to get feedback from you!)
So it was like an arrow hitting the bull's eye of my heart when a speaker preaches that "it is Holiness, not Happiness that God has called us to." He uses the character of Joseph to illustrate his point. That although God led Joseph to be ostracised by his family, framed by Potiphor's wife and thrown into prison, how God had used those circumstances to mould Joseph into a man who went on to inherit a double portion of His blessings in the Promised Land through his 2 sons, Manasseh and Ephraim. (Personal Note: I personally will need to study further into this passage to ascertain if I agree with the last sentence.)
Truth is, sometimes I wonder if all the efforts of striving to be holy is worth it. Sometimes, it feels like a struggle for nothing, a sure-lose situation which unreasonably places others in a superior position which I must perpetually struggle to kowtow to. I am tired of struggling with and considering so many more factors in my already complicated mind; I resent that I must be so humiliated; I am frustrated at letting others have control over my well-being through their whims and fancies because I must defer in order that their interests are also considered.
I am tired and I'd like to not think so much. I'd like to luxuriate in just considering for myself. But then I remember my Lord and what He has to endure in order to make me clean: The Master washing His disciples' feet so that we will follow His example; The King standing silent in front of governor Pilate so that the Father's will be done; God Himself hanging on the cross so that holy wrath may pour on Him and then His created, humble man, may freely come to Him.
Even if I'm not called to suffer persecution for His name, or to bring people en masse to Him, my cross is this: Through the mundane and routine, with His Love behind me and His Holiness before me, may I faithfully trod the road of Mercy guided by His ultimate Wisdom.
So it was like an arrow hitting the bull's eye of my heart when a speaker preaches that "it is Holiness, not Happiness that God has called us to." He uses the character of Joseph to illustrate his point. That although God led Joseph to be ostracised by his family, framed by Potiphor's wife and thrown into prison, how God had used those circumstances to mould Joseph into a man who went on to inherit a double portion of His blessings in the Promised Land through his 2 sons, Manasseh and Ephraim. (Personal Note: I personally will need to study further into this passage to ascertain if I agree with the last sentence.)
Truth is, sometimes I wonder if all the efforts of striving to be holy is worth it. Sometimes, it feels like a struggle for nothing, a sure-lose situation which unreasonably places others in a superior position which I must perpetually struggle to kowtow to. I am tired of struggling with and considering so many more factors in my already complicated mind; I resent that I must be so humiliated; I am frustrated at letting others have control over my well-being through their whims and fancies because I must defer in order that their interests are also considered.
I am tired and I'd like to not think so much. I'd like to luxuriate in just considering for myself. But then I remember my Lord and what He has to endure in order to make me clean: The Master washing His disciples' feet so that we will follow His example; The King standing silent in front of governor Pilate so that the Father's will be done; God Himself hanging on the cross so that holy wrath may pour on Him and then His created, humble man, may freely come to Him.
Even if I'm not called to suffer persecution for His name, or to bring people en masse to Him, my cross is this: Through the mundane and routine, with His Love behind me and His Holiness before me, may I faithfully trod the road of Mercy guided by His ultimate Wisdom.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Analogy of Servant Leadership
Who serves the other? The baby or his parents? Yet who is in authority?
"Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." (Phil 2:5-11)
"Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." (Phil 2:5-11)
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Analogy of True Contentment
After a spirited 'exposition' of what it means to be contented in singleness, below is a summary of our continued conversation via sms:
HS: I want to stumble you with envy. I'm having Cedele's.
Me: I'm having a slightly inferior (but good enough for me!) Subway meal.
(Pause)
I think I know the meaning of true contentment now.
Contentment is... feeling/thinking that Cedele's is superior to Subway but fully satisfied with what I'm having (even though in God's eyes, Cedele's and Subway are both equally good!)
HS: I want to stumble you with envy. I'm having Cedele's.
Me: I'm having a slightly inferior (but good enough for me!) Subway meal.
(Pause)
I think I know the meaning of true contentment now.
Contentment is... feeling/thinking that Cedele's is superior to Subway but fully satisfied with what I'm having (even though in God's eyes, Cedele's and Subway are both equally good!)
Saturday, June 24, 2006
What really matters
It is a struggle to remember that Christians are only sinful people who had realized their innate unworthiness, and come to acknowledge and accept hungrily the love and sacrifice God had made on our behalf. (Remember it was not the 'righteous' but the tax collecters and prostitutes who come to Him!)
Thus the many times we would observe, or even personally experience the times when our fellow brothers or sisters in Christ or even ourselves, had fallen short of standards and hurt the innocent people around.
I had observed how the lack of ethics of a real estate agent had hurt my father financially, (how I cringe everytime my mother mentioned that she is a Christian) but also praise God for Singapore's just legal system which we are depending on now for our justice.
My friends had shared how their Christian bosses, model citizens in church, had been dishonest in business and mean to their subordinates and juxtaposed the irony of decency exemplified by their non-Christian supervisors.
Even in gatherings where Charismatics and the Conservatives congregate, the undercurrents are strong. "Emotional Imbeciles", snort one group, "Arrogant Pharisees", sniff the next. Differences rather than similarities categorise our Family.
Sometimes, we are hurt simply by the lack of care and concern of our family in Christ when it had really mattered. It was most probably unintentional and unthinkingly which was proven by their response of concern when they were made aware of how it had affected us.
Yet though the prayer is to be loving, trusting and not keep any records of wrongs, it is hard to let them into your heart again, much as they are striving to show care for you. The ice around the heart is the impenetratable wall. The temptation then is to focus on the old habits of concentrating on making ourselves better, stronger and self-sufficient so that we would never be vulnerable again.
What really matters though, is that God Himself, will never let us go. ("God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." - Heb 13:5) Much as we think we are alone, much as we think we are isolated, Jesus will never let go of the sheep that are placed into His care.
Though the heart had ached when all our supports were gone: when your job had hung on the line, when your friends had seemingly abandoned you, when your self-esteem laid crushed and you are fully broken: As if He scoffs at shallow attachments formed simply by similar interests and personalities and to proclaim, "It is I alone who will deliver you", the miracle of the other people He had brought into our lives to be our crutch, to be our pillar, to bring that spark of joy and hope into you again proved to be an occasion for great thanksgiving to His name.
On earth right now, where ever it may be, in the most remote villages, on the highest mountains, or even when your life hung by a thread as you fought to stay afloat in the fast-flowing river, there is no such thing as "god-forsaken", this word will only apply to hell.
Then how should we be responding? Christian fellowship? What exactly is Christian fellowship then? If not similar interests, if not complementary personalities, if not common activities, then what?
"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other." - John 15:12-17
Dear Lord, how hard is your command. But as your Spirit is with me, as You have promised "that the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.", help me to obey.
Thus the many times we would observe, or even personally experience the times when our fellow brothers or sisters in Christ or even ourselves, had fallen short of standards and hurt the innocent people around.
I had observed how the lack of ethics of a real estate agent had hurt my father financially, (how I cringe everytime my mother mentioned that she is a Christian) but also praise God for Singapore's just legal system which we are depending on now for our justice.
My friends had shared how their Christian bosses, model citizens in church, had been dishonest in business and mean to their subordinates and juxtaposed the irony of decency exemplified by their non-Christian supervisors.
Even in gatherings where Charismatics and the Conservatives congregate, the undercurrents are strong. "Emotional Imbeciles", snort one group, "Arrogant Pharisees", sniff the next. Differences rather than similarities categorise our Family.
Sometimes, we are hurt simply by the lack of care and concern of our family in Christ when it had really mattered. It was most probably unintentional and unthinkingly which was proven by their response of concern when they were made aware of how it had affected us.
Yet though the prayer is to be loving, trusting and not keep any records of wrongs, it is hard to let them into your heart again, much as they are striving to show care for you. The ice around the heart is the impenetratable wall. The temptation then is to focus on the old habits of concentrating on making ourselves better, stronger and self-sufficient so that we would never be vulnerable again.
What really matters though, is that God Himself, will never let us go. ("God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." - Heb 13:5) Much as we think we are alone, much as we think we are isolated, Jesus will never let go of the sheep that are placed into His care.
Though the heart had ached when all our supports were gone: when your job had hung on the line, when your friends had seemingly abandoned you, when your self-esteem laid crushed and you are fully broken: As if He scoffs at shallow attachments formed simply by similar interests and personalities and to proclaim, "It is I alone who will deliver you", the miracle of the other people He had brought into our lives to be our crutch, to be our pillar, to bring that spark of joy and hope into you again proved to be an occasion for great thanksgiving to His name.
On earth right now, where ever it may be, in the most remote villages, on the highest mountains, or even when your life hung by a thread as you fought to stay afloat in the fast-flowing river, there is no such thing as "god-forsaken", this word will only apply to hell.
Then how should we be responding? Christian fellowship? What exactly is Christian fellowship then? If not similar interests, if not complementary personalities, if not common activities, then what?
"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other." - John 15:12-17
Dear Lord, how hard is your command. But as your Spirit is with me, as You have promised "that the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.", help me to obey.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
"I can't pray"
"A person who is facing death has lots of energy. Even as a non-swimmer, after having pulled myself for half an hour to the bank using a rope, walked for an hour and THEN still having to kayak downstream and capsized AGAIN, when I saw light streaming in from above, I just kicked hard in the stream towards the light. I grabbed the black thing that is hanging above with half the fear that it is one of those giant millipedes I see around me in the country everyday and by God's grace, it turned out to be a sturdy branch which I hung on for dear life, against the huge current that is threatening to sweep me away."
"I looked around for my kayaking partner, Sam, but he was nowhere in sight. Suddenly, something bumped against my back and reflexively I grabbed hold of it. It turned out to be Sam's leg. After a long time, with one hand hanging on to the sturdy branch and the other grabbing his leg, he said, "Sara, my shoulders are killing me, just let me go.""
"In such a place as this, you don't want to die alone, you want to die in pairs. So I shouted at him, "Siao ah, better that your shoulders are killing you than you get eaten by crocodiles or get cut by sharp objects. Come, come, let's pray.""
"I can't pray." (He later told me that as a C*******, because of the fact that he had sworn alot and had taken the Lord's name in vain, he was disallowed from praying.)
"What do you mean, you can't pray? You can speak right? Just talk to God lah. Come, quick, let's pray."
"You know, prayers really work wonders. Having hung on there for so long and no help had come, once we prayed, a jetskier came by and we were able to take his jetski back to safety."
It was a shock to me that the pull of an institution can be so great, that even in the most desperate situation, a person can refuse to talk with God just because he was barred (by people) from doing so - even if God can be his only help then.
What is sobering for me though, is how easily, we - mere sand and breath - will give up the privilege of prayer to the Almighty God, our maker for unworthy things - the same way that Esau gives up his birthright to Jacob for bread and lentil stew. Sam "gave up" his privilege to pray perhaps for pride ("You suspend my privilege to pray? Ok lah, see how much I care."); perhaps so that he can continue to 'belong' to the institution he had always been in.
How often have we chosen fellowship with a group just so that we can belong and disregarded whether it is pleasing to God?
"Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O LORD." (Ps 89:15) Perhaps that should be our mediation and our goal for "if God is for us, who can be against us?" (Rm 8:31)
"I looked around for my kayaking partner, Sam, but he was nowhere in sight. Suddenly, something bumped against my back and reflexively I grabbed hold of it. It turned out to be Sam's leg. After a long time, with one hand hanging on to the sturdy branch and the other grabbing his leg, he said, "Sara, my shoulders are killing me, just let me go.""
"In such a place as this, you don't want to die alone, you want to die in pairs. So I shouted at him, "Siao ah, better that your shoulders are killing you than you get eaten by crocodiles or get cut by sharp objects. Come, come, let's pray.""
"I can't pray." (He later told me that as a C*******, because of the fact that he had sworn alot and had taken the Lord's name in vain, he was disallowed from praying.)
"What do you mean, you can't pray? You can speak right? Just talk to God lah. Come, quick, let's pray."
"You know, prayers really work wonders. Having hung on there for so long and no help had come, once we prayed, a jetskier came by and we were able to take his jetski back to safety."
It was a shock to me that the pull of an institution can be so great, that even in the most desperate situation, a person can refuse to talk with God just because he was barred (by people) from doing so - even if God can be his only help then.
What is sobering for me though, is how easily, we - mere sand and breath - will give up the privilege of prayer to the Almighty God, our maker for unworthy things - the same way that Esau gives up his birthright to Jacob for bread and lentil stew. Sam "gave up" his privilege to pray perhaps for pride ("You suspend my privilege to pray? Ok lah, see how much I care."); perhaps so that he can continue to 'belong' to the institution he had always been in.
How often have we chosen fellowship with a group just so that we can belong and disregarded whether it is pleasing to God?
"Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O LORD." (Ps 89:15) Perhaps that should be our mediation and our goal for "if God is for us, who can be against us?" (Rm 8:31)
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Reference for right priorities in prayer
A friend forwarded me this link to keep me up to date on various Christian events. What caught my attention though is their "Word Prayers for 10 days". The word document can be accessed from this page:
http://www.globaldayofprayer.com/10_days.htm
I feel that the subjects of the prayer expressed here shows right priorities and probably expresses and comes from a right relationship with God. In the reading through of these prayers, may they feed you as much as it did me. :)
[Side note: Just heard a real-life inspirational story that a youth group, who had planned and is implementing an entrepreneurial project on behalf of a voluntary welfare organisation (VWO), spent around $300+ and were able to make sales of $4000+ over the past 2 weeks by integrating the altruism instinct in people and by giving customers/donors something of real value back. What is more amazing is that the method is so simple, it is laughable. What I learn from this is that the simplest plans are the most effective. Well done people!]
http://www.globaldayofprayer.com/10_days.htm
I feel that the subjects of the prayer expressed here shows right priorities and probably expresses and comes from a right relationship with God. In the reading through of these prayers, may they feed you as much as it did me. :)
[Side note: Just heard a real-life inspirational story that a youth group, who had planned and is implementing an entrepreneurial project on behalf of a voluntary welfare organisation (VWO), spent around $300+ and were able to make sales of $4000+ over the past 2 weeks by integrating the altruism instinct in people and by giving customers/donors something of real value back. What is more amazing is that the method is so simple, it is laughable. What I learn from this is that the simplest plans are the most effective. Well done people!]
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Battlefield God
I've come across this fun philosophy game that is probably written by an atheist. This 'battleground' was probably constructed so that the author of the game can help to sell more books promoting atheism and evolution.
It can potentially be stumbling to the Christian who decides to take the test at face value without the desire to examine his/her rational/logical thought later on (it will be thought-provoking for all other theists though!) For the uninformed Christian like me who desires to do a little redundant work though, it can potentially be an eye-opening experience to marvel at how the laws of the universe (including the laws of logic) can be rationally and logically consistent with His precepts and characteristics if you will sieve through the entire thought process with a good critical thinking book (much as it is mind-boggling and a tough exercise. Having said that, there are probably still inconsistencies that I am unaware of. :p)
I think that there are certain areas that the battleground had neglected to consider in their process and being an atheist, the person had probably written the test with preconceived notions about theism - strawmen he himself constructed which he then dismantle and point as evidence of irrational/illogical/inconsistent thought. I'll be glad to share my results (and thoughts on it) if you will share yours. ;)
With all this said, take this test at your own risk.
http://www.philosophersnet.com/games/god.htm
On a side issue, I read this description on another part of their website:
http://www.philosophersnet.com/games/whatisgod2.php
The metaphysical engineers are finding it hard to understand how, on your conception of God, one can have a personal relationship with her.
Personal relationships appear to depend on a number of things. Sufficient similarity between the persons in the relationship is one. Another is that both are persons, or are, at least, person-like, as some higher primates, for example, appear to be. The problem is that in our universe there seem to be no genuine personal relationships between things of great difference. And God, as you have described her, is vastly different from human beings.
People can have feelings for things which are similar to those they have towards people. Affection or love for places or objects, for example, is common. But this is not the same as having a personal relationship with them. In a similar way, people have relationships with animals, maybe a cat. But this does not seem to be the same as a personal relationship, because of the great difference in the way the person relates to the animal and the way the animal relates to the person. Perhaps this is the kind of relationship which you envisaged?
--End
Much as it seemed demeaning to see ourselves as cats and dogs (perhaps sheep? Not goats :p )in our relationship with God, I'm incline to think that the author(s) above have hit closer to home than they know. In a separate post, I have likened God willing to love us sinners as of greater magnitude than say us loving cockroaches, unworthy as we are to receive it yet amazingly, He does. In fact His love is so great, He had adopted us as His sons and daughters! (Ever imagine adopting a cockroach? Like ewwww... :( )
In light of the incredulity shown by these atheists, isn't it even more awesome to know of His love for us?
For unbelievers, the question then becomes if you're willing to humble yourself and acknowledge your sinfulness and unworthiness and thus need His salvation, His way, not ours, in order to be made right with Him and to enJOY the greatest gift of all? "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." (Pro 3:34) There is compelling, historical evidence that Jesus Christ exists and that He is God because He says so. And because He exists and lives now, "If you really knew (Jesus), you would know (His) Father as well. From now on, you do know (God) and have seen him." (Jn 14:7) Will you accept Him now?
It can potentially be stumbling to the Christian who decides to take the test at face value without the desire to examine his/her rational/logical thought later on (it will be thought-provoking for all other theists though!) For the uninformed Christian like me who desires to do a little redundant work though, it can potentially be an eye-opening experience to marvel at how the laws of the universe (including the laws of logic) can be rationally and logically consistent with His precepts and characteristics if you will sieve through the entire thought process with a good critical thinking book (much as it is mind-boggling and a tough exercise. Having said that, there are probably still inconsistencies that I am unaware of. :p)
I think that there are certain areas that the battleground had neglected to consider in their process and being an atheist, the person had probably written the test with preconceived notions about theism - strawmen he himself constructed which he then dismantle and point as evidence of irrational/illogical/inconsistent thought. I'll be glad to share my results (and thoughts on it) if you will share yours. ;)
With all this said, take this test at your own risk.
http://www.philosophersnet.com/games/god.htm
On a side issue, I read this description on another part of their website:
http://www.philosophersnet.com/games/whatisgod2.php
The metaphysical engineers are finding it hard to understand how, on your conception of God, one can have a personal relationship with her.
Personal relationships appear to depend on a number of things. Sufficient similarity between the persons in the relationship is one. Another is that both are persons, or are, at least, person-like, as some higher primates, for example, appear to be. The problem is that in our universe there seem to be no genuine personal relationships between things of great difference. And God, as you have described her, is vastly different from human beings.
People can have feelings for things which are similar to those they have towards people. Affection or love for places or objects, for example, is common. But this is not the same as having a personal relationship with them. In a similar way, people have relationships with animals, maybe a cat. But this does not seem to be the same as a personal relationship, because of the great difference in the way the person relates to the animal and the way the animal relates to the person. Perhaps this is the kind of relationship which you envisaged?
--End
Much as it seemed demeaning to see ourselves as cats and dogs (perhaps sheep? Not goats :p )in our relationship with God, I'm incline to think that the author(s) above have hit closer to home than they know. In a separate post, I have likened God willing to love us sinners as of greater magnitude than say us loving cockroaches, unworthy as we are to receive it yet amazingly, He does. In fact His love is so great, He had adopted us as His sons and daughters! (Ever imagine adopting a cockroach? Like ewwww... :( )
In light of the incredulity shown by these atheists, isn't it even more awesome to know of His love for us?
For unbelievers, the question then becomes if you're willing to humble yourself and acknowledge your sinfulness and unworthiness and thus need His salvation, His way, not ours, in order to be made right with Him and to enJOY the greatest gift of all? "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." (Pro 3:34) There is compelling, historical evidence that Jesus Christ exists and that He is God because He says so. And because He exists and lives now, "If you really knew (Jesus), you would know (His) Father as well. From now on, you do know (God) and have seen him." (Jn 14:7) Will you accept Him now?
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Jesus: King above all kings, the friend whom I know
[Post first started on May 18th, Thursday, 6p.m.
Last edited: May 29th, Monday, 11:15p.m]
Now, this prodigal sister-in-christ is with you, in looking to the day when we will rejoice that we have given up on all we could have put our hopes on; the day when all our tears will be wiped away. May we always be in the passion of our Lord and to always grow in sisterly love.
Received an e-mail from Dave with this header "Talking about Jesus":
--- Start of email
Dear frens,
Any ideas on what an 'evangelical' Jesus look like? hehehe.... :D
Wud appreciate any input from u all cos I dun have much time to prepare for this XXX outing just before the XXXX da vinci code forum...
Cheers
Dave
[Start of forwarded email]
[Someone] says:
Hello brothers
Thanks for agreeing to share your tradition's perspective on Jesus at the XXX meeting this Saturday afternoon. Here as some suggested guidelines you may wish to use to frame your presentation, just to make sure we have some focus:
- Who is Jesus according to your tradition?
- What was/is his ministry?
- How do we interact him? What is expected of us as a result of this interaction?
- Strengths & weaknesses of your tradition's view of/approach to Jesus?
Key point is to discuss the tradition's view of Jesus, rather than the features of the tradition itself, as far as this is possible - although there'll be some overlaps.
If you can plan a 15 minutes presentation with about 5 minutes to interact on whatever questions people might have, that would be ideal. Haven't thought about the order of presentation, but might be nice to have it in some broad "chronological" order:
Catholic (C)
Evangelical (Dave)
Pentecostal/Charismatic (L)
"New Perspective"/NT Wright (A)
Well... let me know if you've any other suggestions anyhow.
May you be edified and enthralled with our Saviour as you make your preparations.
[End of forwarded mail]
---- End of email
Although it will be edifying to search the scriptures to consolidate all I know about the biblical Jesus (and I hope to do so,) I must say this e-mail led me to (on this commemorative 101st post) reflect on the Jesus I know (Sorry Dave! I'm no help here) - not just through the scriptures (which should rightfully be THE source), but the Jesus whom I had talked with, whined to, trusted and who had shown Himself to me to be King, Prince of Peace, my Comforter and Friend.
My first remembered encounter with Him was at the age of 8 when I was enrolled into a Catholic school. I must have been presented with the sinless, holy God cause I remembered my prayer on reaching home in the afternoon was, "God, I don't think I need Jesus. If you will write off all the bad things I did before, from today, I promise You that I will be a totally good girl and not do a single naughty thing." (I could just hear Jesus laugh at this childish thought, but boy was I determined!) My resolution promptly left my conscious memory when retiring to bed that night, I counted off all the naughty things I had done and they numbered around 20.
Last edited: May 29th, Monday, 11:15p.m]
Specially dedicated to the girl who's building her treasures in heaven - LJL. Because of your faithful prayers, you have helped me receive the greatest gift of all.
Now, this prodigal sister-in-christ is with you, in looking to the day when we will rejoice that we have given up on all we could have put our hopes on; the day when all our tears will be wiped away. May we always be in the passion of our Lord and to always grow in sisterly love.
Received an e-mail from Dave with this header "Talking about Jesus":
--- Start of email
Dear frens,
Any ideas on what an 'evangelical' Jesus look like? hehehe.... :D
Wud appreciate any input from u all cos I dun have much time to prepare for this XXX outing just before the XXXX da vinci code forum...
Cheers
Dave
Hello brothers
Thanks for agreeing to share your tradition's perspective on Jesus at the XXX meeting this Saturday afternoon. Here as some suggested guidelines you may wish to use to frame your presentation, just to make sure we have some focus:
- Who is Jesus according to your tradition?
- What was/is his ministry?
- How do we interact him? What is expected of us as a result of this interaction?
- Strengths & weaknesses of your tradition's view of/approach to Jesus?
Key point is to discuss the tradition's view of Jesus, rather than the features of the tradition itself, as far as this is possible - although there'll be some overlaps.
If you can plan a 15 minutes presentation with about 5 minutes to interact on whatever questions people might have, that would be ideal. Haven't thought about the order of presentation, but might be nice to have it in some broad "chronological" order:
Catholic (C)
Evangelical (Dave)
Pentecostal/Charismatic (L)
"New Perspective"/NT Wright (A)
Well... let me know if you've any other suggestions anyhow.
May you be edified and enthralled with our Saviour as you make your preparations.
---- End of email
Although it will be edifying to search the scriptures to consolidate all I know about the biblical Jesus (and I hope to do so,) I must say this e-mail led me to (on this commemorative 101st post) reflect on the Jesus I know (Sorry Dave! I'm no help here) - not just through the scriptures (which should rightfully be THE source), but the Jesus whom I had talked with, whined to, trusted and who had shown Himself to me to be King, Prince of Peace, my Comforter and Friend.
My first remembered encounter with Him was at the age of 8 when I was enrolled into a Catholic school. I must have been presented with the sinless, holy God cause I remembered my prayer on reaching home in the afternoon was, "God, I don't think I need Jesus. If you will write off all the bad things I did before, from today, I promise You that I will be a totally good girl and not do a single naughty thing." (I could just hear Jesus laugh at this childish thought, but boy was I determined!) My resolution promptly left my conscious memory when retiring to bed that night, I counted off all the naughty things I had done and they numbered around 20.
Over time, observation of the conduct of His people made me convinced about the hypocrisy of this religion and I remember swearing at one particular Christian that I'd rather believe in cannibalism than in this God he/she believes in. His/her dire warning led to my final suave throwback of "To hell be the consequences" (How prophetic my words could be huh?) before I marched off, my head lifted high.
The slight blip in my antenna (which I had thought was a disappointing but small incident) was when LJL became a Christian in Sec 4. Although I did not voice it then, I questioned her judgement in my heart and wondered if she walks through life with her eyes close. Don't you know what the Christians are like? You want to be one of them??? Okaaaaaay, it's YOUR life. Many times we would discuss the issue of God and most times, I would out-argue her (U know I did, LJL. :p ) I was smug in my belief that I'll always be free of this wretched religion, but LJL's faith and prayers to the true and loving God, who did not wish anyone to perish, but come to the way to Him, held the more amazing way and gift for me.
Fast forward to my internship, where I met my mentor, a gentle Christian who is overseeing my project work. With quiet humour, he never failed to put me at ease although I was then still shy and awkward. Somehow respect for his quiet wisdom silenced my doubts when he calmly invited me to his church. I remembered those early Sunday mornings, before the first rays of sunlight, when I would "sneak" out of my house to attend his home church at the sleepy hour of 8a.m where we would go for roti prata at around 10:30 after service. I remember this particular sermon where I had felt the beginning of a choice, "Choose Me, or the pleasures of the world? Choose the cross or the broad and easy way? Choose Truth or the life of comfortable ease?" Circumstances were just too easy and gratification too instant for me and I defaulted to the way against Him. In my last unwilling visit to his home church, he gave me a book "The Gift for all people" by Max Lucado, a simple narration that illustrates God's gift which I promptly left in a corner after a quick scan. I've no idea where he is now, but if I see him again, I'd like to see the quiet smile on his face when he realises that I am now God's people.
--- To be continued....
--- To be continued....
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Fully Blessed
"I need a heart operation."
IV, a nutritionist friend I was lunching with, looked at me, goggle-eyed.
Realising I had unthinkingly ignored the more obvious context (again!), I laughed and repeated, "I need a heart operation - in the hospital of heaven."
We laughed.
I had shared many of my uncharitable thoughts and discontentment with IV at this particular lunch and she was lending me her sympathetic listening ear as I aired my grievances and talked aloud the practical options open between removing myself from temptation and standing up to it. Yet whether I have an answer, this much intellectual clarity His Grace has given me (no doubt coming from your (IV's) prayers):
"...train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. " (1 Tim 4:7-8)
"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." (1 Tim 6:6-10)
And funnily, right after the moment of complaining most about what I don't have - when I felt the most sulky, discontented and unworthy - paradoxically, it was that moment when I felt the most beloved.
For the all-knowing, holy and sovereign One - who by nature, should have been so far from me - had never failed to care enough - to guide, to comfort or to rebuke (much as I outwardly plead against (and inwardly is pleased by) His nagging) so that I may be a new creation.
The truth is:
And it is this struggle against my sin - this struggle that I am resisting - that also brings me the most comfort, because it is the proof that I am always in His mind and He is with me.
And this is why I am fully blessed. :)
IV, a nutritionist friend I was lunching with, looked at me, goggle-eyed.
Realising I had unthinkingly ignored the more obvious context (again!), I laughed and repeated, "I need a heart operation - in the hospital of heaven."
We laughed.
I had shared many of my uncharitable thoughts and discontentment with IV at this particular lunch and she was lending me her sympathetic listening ear as I aired my grievances and talked aloud the practical options open between removing myself from temptation and standing up to it. Yet whether I have an answer, this much intellectual clarity His Grace has given me (no doubt coming from your (IV's) prayers):
"...train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. " (1 Tim 4:7-8)
"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." (1 Tim 6:6-10)
And funnily, right after the moment of complaining most about what I don't have - when I felt the most sulky, discontented and unworthy - paradoxically, it was that moment when I felt the most beloved.
For the all-knowing, holy and sovereign One - who by nature, should have been so far from me - had never failed to care enough - to guide, to comfort or to rebuke (much as I outwardly plead against (and inwardly is pleased by) His nagging) so that I may be a new creation.
The truth is:
I stand before the great eternal throne
The one that God Himself is seated on
And I, I've been invited as a son (err.... daughter)
Oh I, I've been invited to come and ...
Believe the unbelievable
Receive the inconceivable
And see beyond my wildest imagination
Lord, I come with great expectations
(From Steven Curtis Chapman's "Great Expectations")
And it is this struggle against my sin - this struggle that I am resisting - that also brings me the most comfort, because it is the proof that I am always in His mind and He is with me.
And this is why I am fully blessed. :)
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Commercial Break
Cost of getting e-fo from S months before: $0.05
Cost of taking a call from P: $0.10
Catching Steven Curtis Chapman LIVE in concert that very day (and coinciding with friends just next to me!): Priceless
(Thanks friends!)
Cost of taking a call from P: $0.10
Catching Steven Curtis Chapman LIVE in concert that very day (and coinciding with friends just next to me!): Priceless
(Thanks friends!)
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Fruitlessness
"I know I'm going to heaven only because I believe in Christ's sacrifice on the cross for me." Joy welled in my heart as I was saying this.
The two petite women who had knocked on my door asking if I'd like them to conduct bible study classes in my house look bewildered and troubled, both at my words and the expression that must have been on my face. That set alarm bells ringing for me. "Which church do you come from?"
"Jehovah's witnesses. Have you heard about us?"
"I've not heard about you all but I've read up a bit about you. Perhaps you can clarify where I've understood wrongly. What do you know about Jesus?"
"He is a perfect being that had come down to earth."
"Do you believe He's God?"
"He's not God Almighty, he's a perfect being who is created by God."
"If he's not God, what makes you believe that His death is sufficient to cover our sins?" Somehow, the verse Col 2:9 kept flashing in my mind from this point on yet doubt kept me quiet.
"He's a perfect being, he's an angel."
"Lucifer was an angel yet would you believe that he is sufficient for your sins? Not to forget in the great heavenly rebellion, 1/3 of the angels fell and become demons."
"God Almighty himself chooses the perfect sacrifice for our sins."
"Of course, but do you think that any being will be sufficient for God's holy standard? Wouldn't God alone be sufficient for His own standards?"
"We'll come back later to talk with you and your family."
"Ok, but before you go, I have some materials for you."
My head was in a whirl and doubt and confusion clouded my mind. Stumbling into my room, the first materials I happened across are printed notes which explained the concept of trinity. (Praise God!) I grabbed blindly, all three chapters on the trinity and handed it to them. "Read this before you come again and I'll be glad to discuss scripture together."
My hands were still shaking an hour later. Anger and guilt equally mixed as my mind grappled with the fact that misguided Christian groups are so active in spreading the 'good news' yet I, a truth-bearer, am doing nothing to further His kingdom - not because I have to but of a loving will. I was further frustrated when checking on Col 2:9 to find it reads "For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form..."
How many people have I shared the news of the kingdom with?
("Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."" - Matt 28:18-20)
This nagging feeling that I should be doing more came when I first heard sharing from a charismatic pastor. Vaguely holding traces of supercilious arrogance that charismatics do not know the whole doctrine, this perception was further consolidated by his speech characterised by non-standard English. Yet his sharing humbled me. An ex-drug addict and ex-convict and professing to still bear the tattoos of his past as a gang member, he nevetheless single-handedly founded a profitable social enterprise that mostly employs reformed, male ex-convicts. He may not be a theological giant, perhaps his knowledge only extends to the necessity of believing and accepting the truth that Jesus died on the cross for us and is fully acceptable, his faith may even extend (controversially) to belief that because he serves the true God, miracles is promised in his work, yet so many people came to know about the forgiveness of Christ by his living out the giving of second chances to ex-convicts.
("He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him." - 1 Cor 1:28-29)
How many lives have I touched?
This feeling was reinforced when I met a brother-in-christ and heard about how he notices subtle signs that his family is becoming more curious for christ. Although we were similarly lamenting 4-5 months back how we are the only Christians in the family, he had gone on to think about strategies for being a good living witness and his mother is coming to church. His family is also noticing his increasing love for them. Although I was much encouraged and shared his joy, I also couldn't help thinking about how my darkness had covered Christ's light in my family.
Why am I so untransformed?
("You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." - Matt 5:14-16)
Not to mention God's holy standard, I'd even fall short of man's relativistic moral standards. My confidence must lie in "that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. " (Phil 1:6)
I'd better buck up on prayerfully depending on His strength. :p
The two petite women who had knocked on my door asking if I'd like them to conduct bible study classes in my house look bewildered and troubled, both at my words and the expression that must have been on my face. That set alarm bells ringing for me. "Which church do you come from?"
"Jehovah's witnesses. Have you heard about us?"
"I've not heard about you all but I've read up a bit about you. Perhaps you can clarify where I've understood wrongly. What do you know about Jesus?"
"He is a perfect being that had come down to earth."
"Do you believe He's God?"
"He's not God Almighty, he's a perfect being who is created by God."
"If he's not God, what makes you believe that His death is sufficient to cover our sins?" Somehow, the verse Col 2:9 kept flashing in my mind from this point on yet doubt kept me quiet.
"He's a perfect being, he's an angel."
"Lucifer was an angel yet would you believe that he is sufficient for your sins? Not to forget in the great heavenly rebellion, 1/3 of the angels fell and become demons."
"God Almighty himself chooses the perfect sacrifice for our sins."
"Of course, but do you think that any being will be sufficient for God's holy standard? Wouldn't God alone be sufficient for His own standards?"
"We'll come back later to talk with you and your family."
"Ok, but before you go, I have some materials for you."
My head was in a whirl and doubt and confusion clouded my mind. Stumbling into my room, the first materials I happened across are printed notes which explained the concept of trinity. (Praise God!) I grabbed blindly, all three chapters on the trinity and handed it to them. "Read this before you come again and I'll be glad to discuss scripture together."
My hands were still shaking an hour later. Anger and guilt equally mixed as my mind grappled with the fact that misguided Christian groups are so active in spreading the 'good news' yet I, a truth-bearer, am doing nothing to further His kingdom - not because I have to but of a loving will. I was further frustrated when checking on Col 2:9 to find it reads "For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form..."
How many people have I shared the news of the kingdom with?
("Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."" - Matt 28:18-20)
This nagging feeling that I should be doing more came when I first heard sharing from a charismatic pastor. Vaguely holding traces of supercilious arrogance that charismatics do not know the whole doctrine, this perception was further consolidated by his speech characterised by non-standard English. Yet his sharing humbled me. An ex-drug addict and ex-convict and professing to still bear the tattoos of his past as a gang member, he nevetheless single-handedly founded a profitable social enterprise that mostly employs reformed, male ex-convicts. He may not be a theological giant, perhaps his knowledge only extends to the necessity of believing and accepting the truth that Jesus died on the cross for us and is fully acceptable, his faith may even extend (controversially) to belief that because he serves the true God, miracles is promised in his work, yet so many people came to know about the forgiveness of Christ by his living out the giving of second chances to ex-convicts.
("He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him." - 1 Cor 1:28-29)
How many lives have I touched?
This feeling was reinforced when I met a brother-in-christ and heard about how he notices subtle signs that his family is becoming more curious for christ. Although we were similarly lamenting 4-5 months back how we are the only Christians in the family, he had gone on to think about strategies for being a good living witness and his mother is coming to church. His family is also noticing his increasing love for them. Although I was much encouraged and shared his joy, I also couldn't help thinking about how my darkness had covered Christ's light in my family.
Why am I so untransformed?
("You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." - Matt 5:14-16)
Not to mention God's holy standard, I'd even fall short of man's relativistic moral standards. My confidence must lie in "that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. " (Phil 1:6)
I'd better buck up on prayerfully depending on His strength. :p
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Prayer Structure
[Edited on 23rd April: Added international focus for Friday]
Inspired by "A Call to Spiritual Reformation" by Don Carson, I'm praying that I'm able to implement this prayer structure:
Sunday: Family
Monday: Close friends and prayer/accountability group
Tuesday: Organisation, department, charities and volunteers we're working with and their leaders
Wednesday: Church, DG, Music Ministry and their leaders
Thursday:BSF group and Believers' Music
Friday: Friends in general, unbelievers, our nation and international focus of the week
Saturday: Myself and various initiatives considering to be embarked on
Any groups I have missed out or other considerations I should be thinking through?
Inspired by "A Call to Spiritual Reformation" by Don Carson, I'm praying that I'm able to implement this prayer structure:
Sunday: Family
Monday: Close friends and prayer/accountability group
Tuesday: Organisation, department, charities and volunteers we're working with and their leaders
Wednesday: Church, DG, Music Ministry and their leaders
Thursday:BSF group and Believers' Music
Friday: Friends in general, unbelievers, our nation and international focus of the week
Saturday: Myself and various initiatives considering to be embarked on
Any groups I have missed out or other considerations I should be thinking through?
Friday, April 21, 2006
Whimsy Fancy or My Ministry in Work?
Many people have shared with me their desire, consideration of or even their prayers and plans towards full-time church ministry. This made me think about the value of my work because I am not called (as of now) to full-time ministry.
Belonging to the camp that considers secular work to be as sacred as church work by God-fearing individuals (am I a Lutheran or what?) by the fact that our entire lives are meant to be a worship to God, I nevertheless strongly desire that my secular work is to be meaningful and transforming of lives – whether it is through living testimony or its innate nature. At the same time, being lazy yet insecure, I dream about creating a system that will earn me an income for as long as I live.
Coming into my new job, I become pleasantly surprised when I come across the concept of Social Entrepreneurship within a week. Not a new concept social entrepreneurship is a business that supports social causes through its business activities. It can be in the form of regularly ensuring that fixed portions of its revenue are given to worthy social causes or even employing the socially disadvantaged people – the elderly, the disabled, ex-convicts in the course of normal business operations. For example, The Body Shop, championing environmental causes in its normal operations and employing backward village people in its production and packaging operations is an example of a social enterprise.
The concept of social entrepreneurship appeared to be the answer to my dichotomy – income-generating system inspired by greedy sloth and meaningful accomplishment normally requiring committed diligence. It appears to be the answers to my prayers – the ability to transform the lives of social “misfits” while potentially creating that income-generating system.
But is this a thought for further consideration, a whimsy fancy, or the work destined for me? Time will tell…
Belonging to the camp that considers secular work to be as sacred as church work by God-fearing individuals (am I a Lutheran or what?) by the fact that our entire lives are meant to be a worship to God, I nevertheless strongly desire that my secular work is to be meaningful and transforming of lives – whether it is through living testimony or its innate nature. At the same time, being lazy yet insecure, I dream about creating a system that will earn me an income for as long as I live.
Coming into my new job, I become pleasantly surprised when I come across the concept of Social Entrepreneurship within a week. Not a new concept social entrepreneurship is a business that supports social causes through its business activities. It can be in the form of regularly ensuring that fixed portions of its revenue are given to worthy social causes or even employing the socially disadvantaged people – the elderly, the disabled, ex-convicts in the course of normal business operations. For example, The Body Shop, championing environmental causes in its normal operations and employing backward village people in its production and packaging operations is an example of a social enterprise.
The concept of social entrepreneurship appeared to be the answer to my dichotomy – income-generating system inspired by greedy sloth and meaningful accomplishment normally requiring committed diligence. It appears to be the answers to my prayers – the ability to transform the lives of social “misfits” while potentially creating that income-generating system.
But is this a thought for further consideration, a whimsy fancy, or the work destined for me? Time will tell…
Friday, April 14, 2006
Why I trust the bible
Recently, loved ones had passed me references to 'Gospel' of Judas and brought me to watch documentaries on it. I'm grateful that it is given with the intention of giving me food for thought if I'm following man-made doctrines and concern against blind faith when I trust in the original documents in the Protestant Bible as divinely inspired and inerrant.
Sometimes, I have a tendency to regret that I had not been a Christian since young (so much time wasted!) but I praise God that having come to believe in Christ as God as an adult, I'm fully cognisant of the faith-changing and thought process.
Having first believed in Christ as God, I was faced with this dilemma and I remembered agonising in prayer, "God, who is teaching about the real you? The charismatic church that focuses on the teachings of this particular pastor who is getting special, secret revelation from you? The Roman Catholic church? The You that is mentioned in the Protestant bible? God, is the Christian church even teaching about the real You? If not, God, show me who teaches the real You and I will follow, no matter where you take me."
My prayers were answered (Praise God that His revelation is not a secret I need to ferret out!) when I discovered that all the books in the New Testament were written within 60 years after Jesus' death, resurrection and ascension to God's right hand (references here) and written either by the apostles (mostly people who were directly in contact with Jesus' ministry on earth) or people who were directly in contact with the apostles. This proves to me that these are reliable eyewitness records of Jesus' teachings and were within too short a window of time to be fabricated. The matyrdom of the majority of these apostles for refusing to deny the seeing of the living Jesus in the flesh (who is also seen by 500 other people) is further evidence that their accounts are true.
But what of the OT? Is it inspired and which version (Roman Catholic or Protestant) should be accepted? Jesus' words "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them." (Matthew 5:17), "This is what I told you while I was still with you: Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms." (Luke 24:44) made me believe in the OT as inspired and about Christ. The Protestant Canon is accepted as God's word by the knowledge that the additional books (all in the Old Testament) were only recognised as canonical in the Roman Catholic bible in the Council of Trent only in 1546 and that these additional Old Testament books are not part of the Hebrew Tanakh.
It is highly suspicious that the gospel of Judas or gospel of Thomas were written by Judas and Thomas themselves given that they were commonly attributed to be written in 120-170 AD and 200 AD respectively. Thus they may paint Jesus in a good light or even teach good morals but they will still be suspect as a true account of Jesus.
In addition to the bible, I had also exposed myself to the alternative versions of Jesus, the Jesus as fictionalised in the 'Da Vinci Code', the Jesus as seen in the 'Gospel of Judas', the Jesus as "quoted" in the 'Gospel of Thomas'. My prayerful reading of these materials did not give me enough evidence that these theories are reliable accounts by Jesus on how to get into the Kingdom of God.
Besides the alternative theories of Jesus swooning his way to India, Jesus' kingly bloodline preserved through Mary Magdalene, Jesus advocating freeing the spirit from man as necessity to progress, would you be willing to read about the biblical Jesus and decide if He (as shown through the gospel) is the only way to the Kingdom?
In matters of truth and fact (but not differences in personality), there is only right and wrong. After a car accident, a person is either dead or alive (barely or otherwise), he cannot be both dead and alive at the same time. Similarly, Jesus either is resurrected physically or still dead, He cannot be in both states at the same time. If by making an informed decision of this and standing by it defines me as narrow-minded and hopelessly brain-washed, then I am. But can a person be similarly narrow-minded and stubborn if he refuses to admit the possibility that the biblical Jesus is the true Jesus?
Sometimes, I have a tendency to regret that I had not been a Christian since young (so much time wasted!) but I praise God that having come to believe in Christ as God as an adult, I'm fully cognisant of the faith-changing and thought process.
Having first believed in Christ as God, I was faced with this dilemma and I remembered agonising in prayer, "God, who is teaching about the real you? The charismatic church that focuses on the teachings of this particular pastor who is getting special, secret revelation from you? The Roman Catholic church? The You that is mentioned in the Protestant bible? God, is the Christian church even teaching about the real You? If not, God, show me who teaches the real You and I will follow, no matter where you take me."
My prayers were answered (Praise God that His revelation is not a secret I need to ferret out!) when I discovered that all the books in the New Testament were written within 60 years after Jesus' death, resurrection and ascension to God's right hand (references here) and written either by the apostles (mostly people who were directly in contact with Jesus' ministry on earth) or people who were directly in contact with the apostles. This proves to me that these are reliable eyewitness records of Jesus' teachings and were within too short a window of time to be fabricated. The matyrdom of the majority of these apostles for refusing to deny the seeing of the living Jesus in the flesh (who is also seen by 500 other people) is further evidence that their accounts are true.
But what of the OT? Is it inspired and which version (Roman Catholic or Protestant) should be accepted? Jesus' words "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them." (Matthew 5:17), "This is what I told you while I was still with you: Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms." (Luke 24:44) made me believe in the OT as inspired and about Christ. The Protestant Canon is accepted as God's word by the knowledge that the additional books (all in the Old Testament) were only recognised as canonical in the Roman Catholic bible in the Council of Trent only in 1546 and that these additional Old Testament books are not part of the Hebrew Tanakh.
It is highly suspicious that the gospel of Judas or gospel of Thomas were written by Judas and Thomas themselves given that they were commonly attributed to be written in 120-170 AD and 200 AD respectively. Thus they may paint Jesus in a good light or even teach good morals but they will still be suspect as a true account of Jesus.
In addition to the bible, I had also exposed myself to the alternative versions of Jesus, the Jesus as fictionalised in the 'Da Vinci Code', the Jesus as seen in the 'Gospel of Judas', the Jesus as "quoted" in the 'Gospel of Thomas'. My prayerful reading of these materials did not give me enough evidence that these theories are reliable accounts by Jesus on how to get into the Kingdom of God.
Besides the alternative theories of Jesus swooning his way to India, Jesus' kingly bloodline preserved through Mary Magdalene, Jesus advocating freeing the spirit from man as necessity to progress, would you be willing to read about the biblical Jesus and decide if He (as shown through the gospel) is the only way to the Kingdom?
In matters of truth and fact (but not differences in personality), there is only right and wrong. After a car accident, a person is either dead or alive (barely or otherwise), he cannot be both dead and alive at the same time. Similarly, Jesus either is resurrected physically or still dead, He cannot be in both states at the same time. If by making an informed decision of this and standing by it defines me as narrow-minded and hopelessly brain-washed, then I am. But can a person be similarly narrow-minded and stubborn if he refuses to admit the possibility that the biblical Jesus is the true Jesus?
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Different Visages, Beautiful Spirits
Today was the launch of an event my division is handling and similar to other launches/closing ceremonies, there is the usual pandemonium of ensuring all details are in place so that things will run smoothly and that all our invited VIPs will have a comfortable time and hopefully leave with pleasant memories of our organisation.
There was however real difference in this event from other similar launches that I should have anticipated, which affected me spiritually, more than I had expected.
The first was the fact that one of our invited plenary speakers, Mr B is a successful entrepreneur with a difference - he suffered spinal injuries that left him paralysed from the waist down. Yet, armed with determination that he would adapt to the environment and not the other way round, he denied all modifications to his home, continued living in his home which was not served by the lift (that left him having to negotiate the stairs with his wheelchair), started his business specialising in ginseng with his wife and was the first Asian to crawl through burning coals in Anthony Robbins' Unleash the Power Within seminar as part of the firewalk in 1999.
I felt a sense of respect and kinship with him when I read his profile. Kinship because it brought back memories of my own firewalk (walking, not crawling it) in 2001 as part of the same seminar and in fact still bore a scar to when I took my first step of it in fear. Looking at the 25m stretch and legs wobbly with the fear that I would fall halfway through the pit, that first step burnt away my fear and brought my mind to the sharp reality of the 25m ahead of me. "Cool moss, cool moss..." my mind went as I took step by firm step forward, my feet now amazingly unhurt by the hot coals beneath my feet. Although I no longer totally agree with all he teaches, that scar continues to remind me of the truth that focus on fear is not the solution, rather, we're reminded that "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (Phil 4:8)
Respect because I realised Mr B had to conquer so much more fear in crawling through the firewalk. I could imagine his hands acting as his feet, taking the whole weight of his body, step by single step, dragging the entire lower half of his body through the fiery pit. The heat of the coals, while unfelt on my face must have reached his, bringing the increased awareness of danger. Remembering the pain I had experienced when I let fear overcome me, I could imagine the pain and area inflicted magnified if he had allowed the same fear.
A man like Mr B made me very appreciative of the gifts that God had given me and allowed to retain in my life. His personal example also gave me the awareness that "if he can do it, so can I!" That determination to make full use of his life and his God-given faculties gave added meaning to the phrase "to live is Christ, to die is gain." It gave me the added impetus to know my gifts and weaknesses so that I may fully function in the purpose He had given to my God-given life.
The second was the performance by a group of very special youths, a dance item by intellectually-challenged youths. Their faces and mannerisms immediately broadcasting their differences, their enthusiastic styles though broadcasted their zeal for life and their pride at being part of this performance that made me want to laugh and cry at the same time.
It made me realize how small alterations in our DNA or minute changes in other circumstantial factors can make huge differences in our biological make-up and how grateful we should be to be given our full faculties and thus the bedrock of our current socio-economic situation because
"you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. " (Ps 139:13-16)
In view of the care He had taken in creating and maintaining us, by His thought and breath we were made, isn't it natural that our response should be:
"How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.
If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.
Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you?
I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Ps 139:17-24)
There was however real difference in this event from other similar launches that I should have anticipated, which affected me spiritually, more than I had expected.
The first was the fact that one of our invited plenary speakers, Mr B is a successful entrepreneur with a difference - he suffered spinal injuries that left him paralysed from the waist down. Yet, armed with determination that he would adapt to the environment and not the other way round, he denied all modifications to his home, continued living in his home which was not served by the lift (that left him having to negotiate the stairs with his wheelchair), started his business specialising in ginseng with his wife and was the first Asian to crawl through burning coals in Anthony Robbins' Unleash the Power Within seminar as part of the firewalk in 1999.
I felt a sense of respect and kinship with him when I read his profile. Kinship because it brought back memories of my own firewalk (walking, not crawling it) in 2001 as part of the same seminar and in fact still bore a scar to when I took my first step of it in fear. Looking at the 25m stretch and legs wobbly with the fear that I would fall halfway through the pit, that first step burnt away my fear and brought my mind to the sharp reality of the 25m ahead of me. "Cool moss, cool moss..." my mind went as I took step by firm step forward, my feet now amazingly unhurt by the hot coals beneath my feet. Although I no longer totally agree with all he teaches, that scar continues to remind me of the truth that focus on fear is not the solution, rather, we're reminded that "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (Phil 4:8)
Respect because I realised Mr B had to conquer so much more fear in crawling through the firewalk. I could imagine his hands acting as his feet, taking the whole weight of his body, step by single step, dragging the entire lower half of his body through the fiery pit. The heat of the coals, while unfelt on my face must have reached his, bringing the increased awareness of danger. Remembering the pain I had experienced when I let fear overcome me, I could imagine the pain and area inflicted magnified if he had allowed the same fear.
A man like Mr B made me very appreciative of the gifts that God had given me and allowed to retain in my life. His personal example also gave me the awareness that "if he can do it, so can I!" That determination to make full use of his life and his God-given faculties gave added meaning to the phrase "to live is Christ, to die is gain." It gave me the added impetus to know my gifts and weaknesses so that I may fully function in the purpose He had given to my God-given life.
The second was the performance by a group of very special youths, a dance item by intellectually-challenged youths. Their faces and mannerisms immediately broadcasting their differences, their enthusiastic styles though broadcasted their zeal for life and their pride at being part of this performance that made me want to laugh and cry at the same time.
It made me realize how small alterations in our DNA or minute changes in other circumstantial factors can make huge differences in our biological make-up and how grateful we should be to be given our full faculties and thus the bedrock of our current socio-economic situation because
"you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. " (Ps 139:13-16)
In view of the care He had taken in creating and maintaining us, by His thought and breath we were made, isn't it natural that our response should be:
"How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.
If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.
Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you?
I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Ps 139:17-24)
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Answering Da Vinci Code
Went for the Adult's Meeting at ARPC where our moderator explains the reasons for the series of services that will be answering the claims made in the fictional work of "The Da Vinci Code". The below is the summary my understanding:
The phenomenon of "The Da Vinci Code" had led to millions of readers accessing it - and this is before the movie is out. In his book, claims of a different (or better) bible, a different (or better) church and a different (or better) Christ were made. Hurray, there is no more problem of sin! *sic*
In the author's website, there is a 'bible study' and questions asked in this 'bible study' (aside: I wasn't able to find the 'bible study' in his website, let me know if you see the link) seek to change the faith of the reader.
If "The Da Vinci Code" is a person's first experience with Christianity, they will be bound to leave with a deep-seated distrust of Christianity. Many people whose first encounter with the Japanese was during the Japanese Occupation during World War II still carried with them the deep-seated hatred of them and continued in their perception of their race as brutal, cruel and barbaric.
These services will equip Christians to be certain of what they believe in and with the knowledge required to be able to engage others, who are going to see the movie, in intelligent conversation.
These are the details of the services on "The Real Bible Code":
The phenomenon of "The Da Vinci Code" had led to millions of readers accessing it - and this is before the movie is out. In his book, claims of a different (or better) bible, a different (or better) church and a different (or better) Christ were made. Hurray, there is no more problem of sin! *sic*
In the author's website, there is a 'bible study' and questions asked in this 'bible study' (aside: I wasn't able to find the 'bible study' in his website, let me know if you see the link) seek to change the faith of the reader.
If "The Da Vinci Code" is a person's first experience with Christianity, they will be bound to leave with a deep-seated distrust of Christianity. Many people whose first encounter with the Japanese was during the Japanese Occupation during World War II still carried with them the deep-seated hatred of them and continued in their perception of their race as brutal, cruel and barbaric.
These services will equip Christians to be certain of what they believe in and with the knowledge required to be able to engage others, who are going to see the movie, in intelligent conversation.
These are the details of the services on "The Real Bible Code":
- A Different Bible (2nd April, 9a.m or 11a.m)
- A Different Church (9th April, 9a.m or 11a.m)
- A Different Christ (16th April, 9a.m or 11a.m)
Our services are at Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Secondary School (note that we meet at the secondary school) at 10 Bishan Street 13. It's a 5-10 min walk from Bishan MRT. Buses that stop outside Kuo Chuan itself are 56, 410G. If you would like to clarify anything, you can call our church office at 6466 0119 or visit our website at www.arpc.net
In addition, our discipleship groups (DG, commonly known as cell groups in other churches) will be furthering the discussions heard during the services:
Week of 2nd April (2/4/2006-8/4/2006): On the Bible
Week of 16th April (16/4/2006-22/4/2006): On Christ
If you'd like to visit my DG (it meets on Wednesdays@8p.m, in the Redhill MRT area) to discuss these issues in greater depth, you can e-mail me or alternatively call our church office at 6466 0119 or visit the website at www.arpc.net for details of other DGs.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Struggling with Worldliness
'And yet....' he said, 'and yet Father, I am terribly afraid. I am afraid that the things the Landlord really intends for me may be utterly unlike the things he has taught me to desire.' (Taken from "Pilgrim's Regress" by CS Lewis, in chapter "Archetype and Ectype".)
My recent conversation with Neonangel made me voice out a thought that surprised me and that also woke me up in the middle of the night.
I remembered waking up feeling utterly miserable and resentful that most good things in my life came because I have to overcome greater opposition and work much harder than most people to get them. A cesspool of emotions whirled in me. Bitterness - that I have to put in so much more effort than others for the same results; envy - that comfortable circumstances and thus freedom of choice just sail to selected people; anger - that I am not one of these selected people and why despite working so hard being 'good', I still don't see my desired rewards.
Should a New Ager approach me at that point and exclaim, "Sister, I envy you, the journey itself is half the fun. Long is the happy road in front of you." I'll happily pay the price of throttling the 'envious' individual to death.
Added to this depressing train of thoughts is this fear, reflected in the above passage from "Pilgrim's Regress": What if there is some sweet reward that God did not want me to have? Why did God not make me smarter? More alert? Quicker-on-my-feet? More capable? More courageous? That'll convince me tremendously towards His commitment to see good in my life!(That serpent that tempts and whispers!)
It's easy to prescribe the cure, but hard to take the medicine. (Well-meaning advice: Sister, you need to be contented with your current situation. Think about the many good things in your life you can be grateful for: Roof over your head, food on your table, your family's with you alive and well, and you have friends some of whom think well of you. Response: Yes but duh, everyone around me has them. The Christians around me have the gift of salvation, these things AND *etc etc* Am I the runt in the litter of offsprings of God?)
Yet it's only in quiet reflection of these things I want that I start to see the sliver of light that signals the end of the tunnel. I'd find the truth is I didn't exactly want these things but I want the perceived benefits that come with these things. I don't really want to be ultra rich, but I want to be secure and avoid the fate of a karang guni woman when I'm old (guess I can't be accused of being complacent huh? ;) ) I don't really want to be popular but I want to be trusted, liked and accepted. I don't really want to be with someone but I want to be unconditionally and exclusively loved.
Unlike a lot of humble, godly Christians in my life, I don't serve Him only to do my best to please Him. It is hard for me to be motivated to do something simply because it's my duty. Rather, I serve Him because I trust that my reward will come when He comes again. I trust that (besides being the ultimate Judge) He is the fulfilment of all my innermost desires (ultimate security, sacrificial acceptance, exclusive love.) For hadn't He already shown His Irresistible Grace, His exclusive love, for me when He made His clarion internal call, personally to me? I trust that my Maker who formed me (and my innermost desires) in the womb will know what best satisfies; my Bread of Life, my Living Water. I trust that By Him I will never hunger and thirst again.
"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
Fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.
The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. " (Ps 34:8-10)
Long (and joyful) is the road by which my heart will learn this.
My recent conversation with Neonangel made me voice out a thought that surprised me and that also woke me up in the middle of the night.
I remembered waking up feeling utterly miserable and resentful that most good things in my life came because I have to overcome greater opposition and work much harder than most people to get them. A cesspool of emotions whirled in me. Bitterness - that I have to put in so much more effort than others for the same results; envy - that comfortable circumstances and thus freedom of choice just sail to selected people; anger - that I am not one of these selected people and why despite working so hard being 'good', I still don't see my desired rewards.
Should a New Ager approach me at that point and exclaim, "Sister, I envy you, the journey itself is half the fun. Long is the happy road in front of you." I'll happily pay the price of throttling the 'envious' individual to death.
Added to this depressing train of thoughts is this fear, reflected in the above passage from "Pilgrim's Regress": What if there is some sweet reward that God did not want me to have? Why did God not make me smarter? More alert? Quicker-on-my-feet? More capable? More courageous? That'll convince me tremendously towards His commitment to see good in my life!(That serpent that tempts and whispers!)
It's easy to prescribe the cure, but hard to take the medicine. (Well-meaning advice: Sister, you need to be contented with your current situation. Think about the many good things in your life you can be grateful for: Roof over your head, food on your table, your family's with you alive and well, and you have friends some of whom think well of you. Response: Yes but duh, everyone around me has them. The Christians around me have the gift of salvation, these things AND *etc etc* Am I the runt in the litter of offsprings of God?)
Yet it's only in quiet reflection of these things I want that I start to see the sliver of light that signals the end of the tunnel. I'd find the truth is I didn't exactly want these things but I want the perceived benefits that come with these things. I don't really want to be ultra rich, but I want to be secure and avoid the fate of a karang guni woman when I'm old (guess I can't be accused of being complacent huh? ;) ) I don't really want to be popular but I want to be trusted, liked and accepted. I don't really want to be with someone but I want to be unconditionally and exclusively loved.
Unlike a lot of humble, godly Christians in my life, I don't serve Him only to do my best to please Him. It is hard for me to be motivated to do something simply because it's my duty. Rather, I serve Him because I trust that my reward will come when He comes again. I trust that (besides being the ultimate Judge) He is the fulfilment of all my innermost desires (ultimate security, sacrificial acceptance, exclusive love.) For hadn't He already shown His Irresistible Grace, His exclusive love, for me when He made His clarion internal call, personally to me? I trust that my Maker who formed me (and my innermost desires) in the womb will know what best satisfies; my Bread of Life, my Living Water. I trust that By Him I will never hunger and thirst again.
"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
Fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.
The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. " (Ps 34:8-10)
Long (and joyful) is the road by which my heart will learn this.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Being His Daughter
A Single Friend (F): Oy you alright or not, now that's J's attached?
Me: I'm alright, why do you ask?
F: Coz I've personally experienced how different life could be when your close friends get attached and you're aren't. It feels like they've moved on to a different stage in their lives and left you behind. Your friendship with that person changes doesn't it? Doesn't it affect you?
Me: Yup, you're right in this way that something went "missing" when we pass the previous friendship we have. Sure she has moved (The word 'on' spawned another mini-discussion) to a different place and now has an additional role as someone else's girlfriend. We just have to accept that things change and continue loving them the way God called us to. After all, we can move on because *wink* aren't we called to place our trust and be filled only in Him?
To a certain extent, this conversation evoked memories of a much much earlier conversation (years ago) when, in an emotional moment, in the middle of a debate, my pa blurted, "You now call someone else your Father."
For it is true, that:
"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." (2 Cor 6:18)
I comprehend then, but did not fully appreciate what he was feeling. Now with such an experience under my belt, I start to understand a little bit more of what that sense of loss - like a vacuum in the heart - feels like which my pa must have felt for me, his own flesh and blood; a feeling which is a thousand times more than I did with a good friend.
For isn't this true with worldly relationships? Sons and daughters leave their family's household when they get married (in obedience to Gen 2:24 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."); friendships become indifferent when 1 or both parties get attached (or some other reasons that require a change in circumstances); husbands may feel neglected when the children come along.
Yet I can't help but feel that this shouldn't be the case when I become His Daughter.
For our worldly relationships are determined by space and time. Relationships are begun only when our paths happen to cross each other in the same space at a particular time. It could be in the same hangout, online in the same forum/chat room, same work place at the same time. And generally, these relationships are developed within the constraints of space and time at the opportunity cost of other relationships which you may be able to develop. Time spent with family normally means the expense of time spent with friends, relatives, colleagues, work and vice versa. True, the constraint of space is somewhat breached by modern technology: the phone, the internet etc but this case stands generally true.
Yet the situation with God, our unchanging Father, is different. He is beyond space. He won't be at the esplanade catching a concert at 8p.m Saturday night; He won't be logged on to gchat while checking His e-mail. He is everywhere. We come to be acquainted with Him through family, friends, colleagues, our own study of His Word or any other means by which He chooses to intersect us that particular space at that particular time. What's more, as His Daughter, given the Holy Spirit, God lives in me. (He is always in my space.)
Our eternal Father is beyond time. I can communicate with Him anytime: In the middle of spending time with another friend, in my personal time with Him, in the middle of working through a task. He talks to me through His Word, promptings of other friends (especially those who are deeply immersed in His Word), or reminders of previous bible studies I've already done. He can communicate back to me anytime.
A relationship that is beyond space and beyond time, shouldn't that mean a deeper relationship with Him needn't mean the lessening of our relationship with others? In fact, a deeper relationship with Him would mean the deepening of relationship with others. His second greatest commandment (after the commandment about our relationship with Him) is "Love your neighbour as yourself." Wouldn't that mean that being a Daughter that pleases Him should naturally lead to becoming a more loving husband/wife to your spouse? A more loving son/daughter to our parents? A more loving friend? A more loving employer? A more loving employee?
A lot of times, I'd wondered about the accuracy of the allegory of the wheel where our relationship with Him is the centre spoke while other areas of our life are the peripheral spokes that extend from it to our lives. Shouldn't our relationship with God be one more of those peripheral spokes and not the centre? Perhaps this is one of the factors why this allegory works and another justifications why we should be centering on Him in our lives (as if He needs another justification!) A great relationship with Him should generally lead to better relationships with the people God put around us.
"Taste and see that the LORD is good; ....those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. " (Ps 34:8;10)
Me: I'm alright, why do you ask?
F: Coz I've personally experienced how different life could be when your close friends get attached and you're aren't. It feels like they've moved on to a different stage in their lives and left you behind. Your friendship with that person changes doesn't it? Doesn't it affect you?
Me: Yup, you're right in this way that something went "missing" when we pass the previous friendship we have. Sure she has moved (The word 'on' spawned another mini-discussion) to a different place and now has an additional role as someone else's girlfriend. We just have to accept that things change and continue loving them the way God called us to. After all, we can move on because *wink* aren't we called to place our trust and be filled only in Him?
To a certain extent, this conversation evoked memories of a much much earlier conversation (years ago) when, in an emotional moment, in the middle of a debate, my pa blurted, "You now call someone else your Father."
For it is true, that:
"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." (2 Cor 6:18)
I comprehend then, but did not fully appreciate what he was feeling. Now with such an experience under my belt, I start to understand a little bit more of what that sense of loss - like a vacuum in the heart - feels like which my pa must have felt for me, his own flesh and blood; a feeling which is a thousand times more than I did with a good friend.
For isn't this true with worldly relationships? Sons and daughters leave their family's household when they get married (in obedience to Gen 2:24 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."); friendships become indifferent when 1 or both parties get attached (or some other reasons that require a change in circumstances); husbands may feel neglected when the children come along.
Yet I can't help but feel that this shouldn't be the case when I become His Daughter.
For our worldly relationships are determined by space and time. Relationships are begun only when our paths happen to cross each other in the same space at a particular time. It could be in the same hangout, online in the same forum/chat room, same work place at the same time. And generally, these relationships are developed within the constraints of space and time at the opportunity cost of other relationships which you may be able to develop. Time spent with family normally means the expense of time spent with friends, relatives, colleagues, work and vice versa. True, the constraint of space is somewhat breached by modern technology: the phone, the internet etc but this case stands generally true.
Yet the situation with God, our unchanging Father, is different. He is beyond space. He won't be at the esplanade catching a concert at 8p.m Saturday night; He won't be logged on to gchat while checking His e-mail. He is everywhere. We come to be acquainted with Him through family, friends, colleagues, our own study of His Word or any other means by which He chooses to intersect us that particular space at that particular time. What's more, as His Daughter, given the Holy Spirit, God lives in me. (He is always in my space.)
Our eternal Father is beyond time. I can communicate with Him anytime: In the middle of spending time with another friend, in my personal time with Him, in the middle of working through a task. He talks to me through His Word, promptings of other friends (especially those who are deeply immersed in His Word), or reminders of previous bible studies I've already done. He can communicate back to me anytime.
A relationship that is beyond space and beyond time, shouldn't that mean a deeper relationship with Him needn't mean the lessening of our relationship with others? In fact, a deeper relationship with Him would mean the deepening of relationship with others. His second greatest commandment (after the commandment about our relationship with Him) is "Love your neighbour as yourself." Wouldn't that mean that being a Daughter that pleases Him should naturally lead to becoming a more loving husband/wife to your spouse? A more loving son/daughter to our parents? A more loving friend? A more loving employer? A more loving employee?
A lot of times, I'd wondered about the accuracy of the allegory of the wheel where our relationship with Him is the centre spoke while other areas of our life are the peripheral spokes that extend from it to our lives. Shouldn't our relationship with God be one more of those peripheral spokes and not the centre? Perhaps this is one of the factors why this allegory works and another justifications why we should be centering on Him in our lives (as if He needs another justification!) A great relationship with Him should generally lead to better relationships with the people God put around us.
"Taste and see that the LORD is good; ....those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. " (Ps 34:8;10)
Seven Questions
Found this exercise from Neonangel's blog a pretty cool dig into my whimsical mind:
Seven Dreams before Death:
1) Being wise
2) Beloved by people
3) Go to Israel and appreciate the landmarks seen in His Word
4) Read and understand the bible in the original languages
5) Having successful businesses
6) Being a best-selling author/recording artiste
7) Giving a great concert to a packed auditorium (preferably as part of a band)
Seven "No Ways" in this lifetime:
1) Bungee Jumping
2) Fixing machines/light-bulbs/computers etc
3) Being a missionary parmanently stationed in a third-world country
4) Stop aspiring
5) Buying luxury items only for indulgence (e.g Godiva chocolates) for myself
6) Bleaching my hair white
7) Get by without love
Seven Sparks to my heart:
(Beep! Entering private domain.)
Seven things I say:
1) Actually, Basically....
2) Could you repeat that again?
3) Sorry, I can't hear you....
4) (repeat previous words or phrases while thinking through my thought processes)
5) Ermmmmm.... (when my mind blanks out suddenly)
6) What did you say again?
7) Please forgive my ears that had experienced the wisdom of my age....
Seven books I like:
1) Gospel of John
2) Mere Christianity by C.S Lewis
3) Screwtape Letters by C.S Lewis
4) From Good to Great by Jim Collins
5) The Perfect Store: Inside Ebay by Adam Cohen
6) Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot
7) Pilgrim's Regress by C.S Lewis
Seven shows I like:
1) Legally blonde
2) A beautiful mind
3) Constantine
4) Buffy the Vampire Slayer
5) Phantom of the Opera
6) LOTR trilogy
7) The Matrix
Seven things on my wishlist:
1) A decent home recording studio (optimised for the working on and recording of song compositions)
2) Thesaurus of Scales and Melodic Patterns by Nicolas Slonimsky(bought)
3) Godiva chocolates
4) The CD containing a song (can't remember the title!) that Bob James plays during his Jazz Workshop here in Singapore on the 7th March (now you know why this is a wish list huh?)
5) To complete my C.S Lewis collection (Still wondering what books by C.S Lewis I have yet to own?)
6) The definitive book that will help me write bewitchingly (Is there such a book around?)
7) The definitive book that will help me give a public address/lesson while holding my audience spell-bound (What about this topic?)
YOU are now tagged. Send me your answers or link to your blog should you post it there to the Seven Questions either via e-mail, comments. Looking forward to hearing from you.
Seven Dreams before Death:
1) Being wise
2) Beloved by people
3) Go to Israel and appreciate the landmarks seen in His Word
4) Read and understand the bible in the original languages
5) Having successful businesses
6) Being a best-selling author/recording artiste
7) Giving a great concert to a packed auditorium (preferably as part of a band)
Seven "No Ways" in this lifetime:
1) Bungee Jumping
2) Fixing machines/light-bulbs/computers etc
3) Being a missionary parmanently stationed in a third-world country
4) Stop aspiring
5) Buying luxury items only for indulgence (e.g Godiva chocolates) for myself
6) Bleaching my hair white
7) Get by without love
Seven Sparks to my heart:
Seven things I say:
1) Actually, Basically....
2) Could you repeat that again?
3) Sorry, I can't hear you....
4) (repeat previous words or phrases while thinking through my thought processes)
5) Ermmmmm.... (when my mind blanks out suddenly)
6) What did you say again?
7) Please forgive my ears that had experienced the wisdom of my age....
Seven books I like:
1) Gospel of John
2) Mere Christianity by C.S Lewis
3) Screwtape Letters by C.S Lewis
4) From Good to Great by Jim Collins
5) The Perfect Store: Inside Ebay by Adam Cohen
6) Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot
7) Pilgrim's Regress by C.S Lewis
Seven shows I like:
1) Legally blonde
2) A beautiful mind
3) Constantine
4) Buffy the Vampire Slayer
5) Phantom of the Opera
6) LOTR trilogy
7) The Matrix
Seven things on my wishlist:
1) A decent home recording studio (optimised for the working on and recording of song compositions)
3) Godiva chocolates
4) The CD containing a song (can't remember the title!) that Bob James plays during his Jazz Workshop here in Singapore on the 7th March (now you know why this is a wish list huh?)
5) To complete my C.S Lewis collection (Still wondering what books by C.S Lewis I have yet to own?)
6) The definitive book that will help me write bewitchingly (Is there such a book around?)
7) The definitive book that will help me give a public address/lesson while holding my audience spell-bound (What about this topic?)
YOU are now tagged. Send me your answers or link to your blog should you post it there to the Seven Questions either via e-mail, comments. Looking forward to hearing from you.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Reflections on the Chu-Han War
I've just finished the last episode of "The Conqueror's Story" (literal translation of Mandarin title was "Proud Heroes of Chu and Han") on Channel 55 of SCV. It is a dramatisation of an actual period in Chinese history when the lands of Chu and Han were at war for dominion over the whole of China after the Qin Dynasty. Watching this show, my mind was fascinated at the rich Chinese history that had been preserved in Chinese idioms.
For example:
破釜沉舟 (Break all the cooking pots and sink all the ships): This idiom means the fierce determination to reach your goal at any cost, even if it requires the cutting off of any alternatives. It came from the historical event of Xiang Yu (later the Prince of Chu, who led a rebellion against the Qin dynasty) ordering the breaking of all the cooking pots and sinking of all ships after crossing the Zhang river. He issued 3-days rations to all his soldiers and warned them that all exit routes except the total defeat of the Qin soldiers had been cut off - it's do or die.
四面楚歌 (Chu songs on all sides): This idiom refers to the decisive point in battle when the Han soldiers had Xiang Yu and his army hemmed in on all sides. In order to break the morale of the Chu soldiers, he had his soldiers play Chu songs so that Xiang Yu's soldiers would be homesick and give the impression that many of the people of Chu had fallen in with the Han people. It thus refers to suffering in isolation, bearing the knowledge that even your allies have fallen in with your enemies.
成于萧何，也败于萧何 (Made by Xiao He, yet also destroyed by Xiao He): With Xiao He's persuasion and recommendation, Han Xin was made commander-in-chief to Liu Bang, the Prince of Han. However, after the establishment of the Han dynasty, it was also Xiao He's machinations with the Empress Lu, that led to Han Xin's death by execution. Thus the idiom referring to the same person who made me was the same person who destroyed me refers to this person Xiao He.
My heart was touched at the scene of 霸王别姬 (hegemonic prince's farewell to his concubine). Often depicted as the romantic, noble hero, Xiang Yu, the self styled 西楚霸王 (hegemonic prince of Western Chu) was bidding farewell to his favourite concubine, Lady Yu, who was performing a sword dance during the last decisive battle where he fell.
项羽：力拔山兮气盖世，时不利兮骓不逝，骓不逝兮可奈何？虞兮，虞兮奈若何？
Xiang Yu: My strength uprooted mountains, My spirit overstepped the world; But the times are against me, And my horse can gallop no more. Even if he can gallop on, what can I do? Lady Yu, what will become of you?
虞姬：汉兵已略地，四方楚歌声。大王意气尽，贱妾何聊生！
Lady Yu: The Han soldiers had overtaken the land, only the songs of Chu hangs in the air. My lord's determination has reached its end, how can your humble concubine live on!
She slit her throat and died so that Xiang Yu need not worry about her and can concentrate on the battle. My tears were streaming down my cheeks at that point in time.
What got my spirit though was the drama's depiction of Liu Bang's (Prince of Han and later the Emperor of China when he established the Han Dynasty) fictional struggle to renege on his promise and betray his sworn brother, Xiang Yu (ironically, also his enemy, the Prince of Chu) and the philosophy of his advisor:
"Justice does not lie in the hearts of men, right or wrong is dependent on the circumstances. Yet I do not know about ultimate justice."
In the earlier parts of the series, it looks like cunning, shrewdness, ruthlessness is richly rewarded. Empress Lu, through ruthless means and sacrifice of family members, propelled her husband, Liu Bang to establish his kingdom and herself as the Empress. She was also seen as the real person who pulled the strings when her son Emperor Hui took over the throne. The emperor who succeeded Emperor Hui was even more of her puppet king. With this power, she was able to promote many of her relatives to positions of influence.
Ending the series at this point would have pointed to serious considerations if simply being morally right is enough? Look at the way she abused Concubine Qi after the death of her husband - cutting off her limbs, shaving her head, gouging out her eyes and cutting off her tongue and having the concubine exhibited as the Human Pig until the concubine died from all the torture. She herself, on the other hand, led a blessed life to her end. Is there real, ultimate justice?
Yet after her death, her whole clan was exterminated and the son of Concubine Bo, reputed to be a simple, humble and thoughtful woman, was made emperor and the entire empire was his and his descendents for the majority of the Han Dynasty.
Somehow, knowing this bit of history, makes me remember these bible verses, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation." (Ex 34:6-7)
It also makes this psalm come alive for me when I read this bit of history, a psalm that was a reflection of the questions in my heart during my personal struggle in the past few months, and prayerfully my lifetime hope and reward in heaven:
"A psalm of Asaph. Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold.
For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong.
They are free from the burdens common to man; they are not plagued by human ills.
Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence.
From their callous hearts comes iniquity; the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.
They scoff, and speak with malice; in their arrogance they threaten oppression.
Their mouths lay claim to heaven, and their tongues take possession of the earth.
Therefore their people turn to them and drink up waters in abundance.
They say, "How can God know? Does the Most High have knowledge?"
This is what the wicked are like—always carefree, they increase in wealth.
Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.
All day long I have been plagued; I have been punished every morning.
If I had said, "I will speak thus," I would have betrayed your children.
When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me
till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny.
Surely you place them on slippery ground; you cast them down to ruin.
How suddenly are they destroyed, completely swept away by terrors!
As a dream when one awakes, so when you arise, O Lord, you will despise them as fantasies.
When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds." (Ps 73)
For example:
破釜沉舟 (Break all the cooking pots and sink all the ships): This idiom means the fierce determination to reach your goal at any cost, even if it requires the cutting off of any alternatives. It came from the historical event of Xiang Yu (later the Prince of Chu, who led a rebellion against the Qin dynasty) ordering the breaking of all the cooking pots and sinking of all ships after crossing the Zhang river. He issued 3-days rations to all his soldiers and warned them that all exit routes except the total defeat of the Qin soldiers had been cut off - it's do or die.
四面楚歌 (Chu songs on all sides): This idiom refers to the decisive point in battle when the Han soldiers had Xiang Yu and his army hemmed in on all sides. In order to break the morale of the Chu soldiers, he had his soldiers play Chu songs so that Xiang Yu's soldiers would be homesick and give the impression that many of the people of Chu had fallen in with the Han people. It thus refers to suffering in isolation, bearing the knowledge that even your allies have fallen in with your enemies.
成于萧何，也败于萧何 (Made by Xiao He, yet also destroyed by Xiao He): With Xiao He's persuasion and recommendation, Han Xin was made commander-in-chief to Liu Bang, the Prince of Han. However, after the establishment of the Han dynasty, it was also Xiao He's machinations with the Empress Lu, that led to Han Xin's death by execution. Thus the idiom referring to the same person who made me was the same person who destroyed me refers to this person Xiao He.
My heart was touched at the scene of 霸王别姬 (hegemonic prince's farewell to his concubine). Often depicted as the romantic, noble hero, Xiang Yu, the self styled 西楚霸王 (hegemonic prince of Western Chu) was bidding farewell to his favourite concubine, Lady Yu, who was performing a sword dance during the last decisive battle where he fell.
项羽：力拔山兮气盖世，时不利兮骓不逝，骓不逝兮可奈何？虞兮，虞兮奈若何？
Xiang Yu: My strength uprooted mountains, My spirit overstepped the world; But the times are against me, And my horse can gallop no more. Even if he can gallop on, what can I do? Lady Yu, what will become of you?
虞姬：汉兵已略地，四方楚歌声。大王意气尽，贱妾何聊生！
Lady Yu: The Han soldiers had overtaken the land, only the songs of Chu hangs in the air. My lord's determination has reached its end, how can your humble concubine live on!
She slit her throat and died so that Xiang Yu need not worry about her and can concentrate on the battle. My tears were streaming down my cheeks at that point in time.
What got my spirit though was the drama's depiction of Liu Bang's (Prince of Han and later the Emperor of China when he established the Han Dynasty) fictional struggle to renege on his promise and betray his sworn brother, Xiang Yu (ironically, also his enemy, the Prince of Chu) and the philosophy of his advisor:
"Justice does not lie in the hearts of men, right or wrong is dependent on the circumstances. Yet I do not know about ultimate justice."
In the earlier parts of the series, it looks like cunning, shrewdness, ruthlessness is richly rewarded. Empress Lu, through ruthless means and sacrifice of family members, propelled her husband, Liu Bang to establish his kingdom and herself as the Empress. She was also seen as the real person who pulled the strings when her son Emperor Hui took over the throne. The emperor who succeeded Emperor Hui was even more of her puppet king. With this power, she was able to promote many of her relatives to positions of influence.
Ending the series at this point would have pointed to serious considerations if simply being morally right is enough? Look at the way she abused Concubine Qi after the death of her husband - cutting off her limbs, shaving her head, gouging out her eyes and cutting off her tongue and having the concubine exhibited as the Human Pig until the concubine died from all the torture. She herself, on the other hand, led a blessed life to her end. Is there real, ultimate justice?
Yet after her death, her whole clan was exterminated and the son of Concubine Bo, reputed to be a simple, humble and thoughtful woman, was made emperor and the entire empire was his and his descendents for the majority of the Han Dynasty.
Somehow, knowing this bit of history, makes me remember these bible verses, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation." (Ex 34:6-7)
It also makes this psalm come alive for me when I read this bit of history, a psalm that was a reflection of the questions in my heart during my personal struggle in the past few months, and prayerfully my lifetime hope and reward in heaven:
"A psalm of Asaph. Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold.
For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong.
They are free from the burdens common to man; they are not plagued by human ills.
Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence.
From their callous hearts comes iniquity; the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.
They scoff, and speak with malice; in their arrogance they threaten oppression.
Their mouths lay claim to heaven, and their tongues take possession of the earth.
Therefore their people turn to them and drink up waters in abundance.
They say, "How can God know? Does the Most High have knowledge?"
This is what the wicked are like—always carefree, they increase in wealth.
Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.
All day long I have been plagued; I have been punished every morning.
If I had said, "I will speak thus," I would have betrayed your children.
When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me
till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny.
Surely you place them on slippery ground; you cast them down to ruin.
How suddenly are they destroyed, completely swept away by terrors!
As a dream when one awakes, so when you arise, O Lord, you will despise them as fantasies.
When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds." (Ps 73)
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Beyond the Valley of the Shadow of Death
2 nights ago, in the queue at McDonalds, I caught myself thinking, "What a cute guy." about its branch supervisor.... moments before he caught me staring at him!
Embarrassed yet exhilarated, I shared this incident with 2 of my friends via sms. I was exhilarated not because he was THAT cute, but because it had been so many, many months since my heart was moved by ANYthing - be they touching, attractive or male. :p
It felt like I had walked through the valley of the shadow of death as new depths of fear, uncertainty and feelings of inferiority were plumbed in the past few months. There is a blanket between the world and me and I'd find it so hard to take in anything of the world. Everyday, I could feel a part of me shrinking, shrinking trying not to sense the world, cause every touch brings pain and a sense of unworthiness. Every morning, I'd find that I'd try to will myself to get back to sleep, much much later than the time that I'm supposed to be awake just so that I can escape from the day, and its pain.
Thus, it is no wonder that my heart stopped feeling for the things around me, so as to stop being (negatively) affected by them - including the beauty around me. Brad Pitt could simply walk by me and I would have been totally oblivious. I was like a zombie sleep-walking through the world, a parasite only feeding on the world's resources.
So you could understand the reason for my excitement at discovering that my heart had been moved. This in no way compromised my consistent experience of completeness in Christ, irrespective of my marriage status, but is an indication of my emotional and mental recovery.
Many times in the past few months, I would inwardly groan as I wake up for the day, "God, no, I can't face today! Please, please, bring me to You and take me out of this messed up world," and day by day, somehow, I would get through it - retiring at night never having the insurance that I would be able get through the next.
And yet at the moment when His goodness and glory will be most greatly witnessed - after taunting unbelievers implied that my troubles are an indication that my God was no help to me - He provided for me, to the gnashing of their teeth and provided me with the means to be somewhat gracious, prayerfully for their moment's pondering that perhaps, I do serve the true God.
Frankly, I'm kept humble by the fact that I'm still stumbled by words which tumbled unthinkingly from my mouth (a failing which showed up again this afternoon! Prayerfully, the consequences of this won't be great.)
Yet, I am still quietly grateful for my mind was brought to the promise by this 'cute' incident that highlighted the start of my recovery (no doubt due to the changes in my circumstances), "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." (1 Cor 10:13)
For "(our) God (had) met all my needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:19) Praise be His name forever.
Embarrassed yet exhilarated, I shared this incident with 2 of my friends via sms. I was exhilarated not because he was THAT cute, but because it had been so many, many months since my heart was moved by ANYthing - be they touching, attractive or male. :p
It felt like I had walked through the valley of the shadow of death as new depths of fear, uncertainty and feelings of inferiority were plumbed in the past few months. There is a blanket between the world and me and I'd find it so hard to take in anything of the world. Everyday, I could feel a part of me shrinking, shrinking trying not to sense the world, cause every touch brings pain and a sense of unworthiness. Every morning, I'd find that I'd try to will myself to get back to sleep, much much later than the time that I'm supposed to be awake just so that I can escape from the day, and its pain.
Thus, it is no wonder that my heart stopped feeling for the things around me, so as to stop being (negatively) affected by them - including the beauty around me. Brad Pitt could simply walk by me and I would have been totally oblivious. I was like a zombie sleep-walking through the world, a parasite only feeding on the world's resources.
So you could understand the reason for my excitement at discovering that my heart had been moved. This in no way compromised my consistent experience of completeness in Christ, irrespective of my marriage status, but is an indication of my emotional and mental recovery.
Many times in the past few months, I would inwardly groan as I wake up for the day, "God, no, I can't face today! Please, please, bring me to You and take me out of this messed up world," and day by day, somehow, I would get through it - retiring at night never having the insurance that I would be able get through the next.
And yet at the moment when His goodness and glory will be most greatly witnessed - after taunting unbelievers implied that my troubles are an indication that my God was no help to me - He provided for me, to the gnashing of their teeth and provided me with the means to be somewhat gracious, prayerfully for their moment's pondering that perhaps, I do serve the true God.
Frankly, I'm kept humble by the fact that I'm still stumbled by words which tumbled unthinkingly from my mouth (a failing which showed up again this afternoon! Prayerfully, the consequences of this won't be great.)
Yet, I am still quietly grateful for my mind was brought to the promise by this 'cute' incident that highlighted the start of my recovery (no doubt due to the changes in my circumstances), "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." (1 Cor 10:13)
For "(our) God (had) met all my needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:19) Praise be His name forever.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Seminar on the Reformed faith in Singapore
There will be a 4-day theological seminar by Reverend Dr Stephen Tong on the topic on the Reformed Movement from Feb 23-26 at Newton Life Church. The various timings are as follows:
Feb 23 (Thursday): 7.30 pm - 10pm
Feb 24 (Friday): 7.30 pm - 10 pm
Feb 25 (Sat) : 6pm - 8pm
Feb 26 (Sunday) : 8.30 pm - 10 pm.
For more information about him, you can go to:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Tong
http://www.stemi.org/
Just a note that he normally preaches in Mandarin in Singapore and then each of his points immediately translated to English by another pastor. Personally, I've been very encouraged by his messages to move towards living that is more consistent with what the bible espouses. I hope that you'll be similarly encouraged!
Feb 23 (Thursday): 7.30 pm - 10pm
Feb 24 (Friday): 7.30 pm - 10 pm
Feb 25 (Sat) : 6pm - 8pm
Feb 26 (Sunday) : 8.30 pm - 10 pm.
For more information about him, you can go to:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Tong
http://www.stemi.org/
Just a note that he normally preaches in Mandarin in Singapore and then each of his points immediately translated to English by another pastor. Personally, I've been very encouraged by his messages to move towards living that is more consistent with what the bible espouses. I hope that you'll be similarly encouraged!
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Memoirs of a Swinging Single/ 单身贵族回忆录
"Hey, where's your boyfriend? Have you hidden him somewhere?" A cheeky auntie opened up this 'sensitive' topic the humourous way.
I laughed out loud,and replied, "If he exists, He's still hiding in the will of God."
"Have you been too picky?"
"I'm actually open to what life brings me. If he comes, I won't refuse, if he doesn't, I'm also ok with it."
"Please, what's so good about singlehood? Isn't it better to have someone who loves and adores you?"
I did my best to replace the inner triumph with humility on my face, knowing that she means well, "In Christ, I am complete." With a smile on my face, I left the kitchen serenely.
For some time, I've faced Lunar New Year with dread, knowing the awkward questions I'll (as other singles will) be facing. I'm unaware when my thoughts of it start to change but gradually, I became increasingly aware of the good opportunity to share about my faith and how it affects my guiding principles and the hope it brings me. It might be coming from a growing sense of peace (that I have had for a few months now) of being comfortable and fulfilled as opposed to a previous sense of emptiness and the aching need to be with someone.
For "each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that." (1 Cor 7:7, spoken in the context of gifts of being married or unmarried.)
For people who came to our Hope only later in life and who were not born in Christian families, you might have gone through the same spiritual journey as I. Similar with other unbelievers, my security and trust was in assets, type of job done, our legal system and man's 'intrinsic goodness'; my hope and relational needs in men I date, friends, dream of the perfect family I'm going to help raise and the various societies and clubs I'm a member of; my esteem in praise of men and confidence in performance skills of public speaking, singing and the outward appearance.
It takes the trials of life to realize the innate imperfectness of things, so easily changed by economics, society and personal circumstances, that I've placed my trust, hope and confidence in.
Yet for the citizens of the world, these are still the only things, imperfect as they are, they can place their trust, hope and confidence in and they'll cling to it tightly, even desperately, for what better hope can they have?
It gives me a great wave of gratitude in expressing this to realize that in whatever circumstances I'm placed in - bright youth or doddering old age, in world peace or war, in wealth or in poverty, in sickness or in health, being married or unmarried - one day all these will pass away and our Bridegroom will wipe away every tear for "we will see His face, and His name will be on our foreheads. And night will be no more..... For the Lord God will be our light, and we will reign forever and ever." (Rev 22:4-5)
And what better way to live for the hope and glory of God than through our singleness? Witnessing through our lives that we don't run after the things of the world but simply to think, act and speak to God's glory, accepting with thanks whatever gifts our God chooses to bestow on us, working for our daily bread, letting our words be consistent expressions of what we're living through our lives.
Perhaps I may sing a different tune 5-10 years down the road (hopefully not!) but whatever I may sing in the future, this is the reality of how God sees our individual lives isn't it?
“咦，你男朋友呢，你是不是把他藏在哪里？”我一个俏皮的姨妈这么打开这敏感的话匣子。
我开怀大笑，回应，“如果他存在的话，他还藏在神的旨意里。”
“你是不是太挑剔了，谁都看不上眼？”
“我很随缘的，来的话我不回拒，不来的话也没关系。”
“拜托，单身哪里好，有人爱有人疼才好嘛。”
我尽能力谦卑的笑，因知她是好意相劝，“在基督里，我已得了完全。”脸上仍挂着那笑容，我安详的离开厨房。
曾经很畏惧农历新年，和它肯定（对单身人士）带来的问题。但是不知曾几何时，我渐渐的发现这是最好的时机，字里行间，我能够自然的表达我在基督里活出的原则，和盼望。 这可能始于我内心深处增强的平静感，这股满于现状的平安跟我几个月前感觉的空虚，更显示出强烈的对比。
“各人领受神的恩赐 ，一个是这样，一个是那样。” （歌林多前书 7:7， 提的是单身或已婚的恩赐。）
对于那些只在后来才渐渐认识耶稣的，您也许和我一样经历过同样的属灵路程。像其他的非信徒，(to be continued....)
I laughed out loud,and replied, "If he exists, He's still hiding in the will of God."
"Have you been too picky?"
"I'm actually open to what life brings me. If he comes, I won't refuse, if he doesn't, I'm also ok with it."
"Please, what's so good about singlehood? Isn't it better to have someone who loves and adores you?"
I did my best to replace the inner triumph with humility on my face, knowing that she means well, "In Christ, I am complete." With a smile on my face, I left the kitchen serenely.
For some time, I've faced Lunar New Year with dread, knowing the awkward questions I'll (as other singles will) be facing. I'm unaware when my thoughts of it start to change but gradually, I became increasingly aware of the good opportunity to share about my faith and how it affects my guiding principles and the hope it brings me. It might be coming from a growing sense of peace (that I have had for a few months now) of being comfortable and fulfilled as opposed to a previous sense of emptiness and the aching need to be with someone.
For "each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that." (1 Cor 7:7, spoken in the context of gifts of being married or unmarried.)
For people who came to our Hope only later in life and who were not born in Christian families, you might have gone through the same spiritual journey as I. Similar with other unbelievers, my security and trust was in assets, type of job done, our legal system and man's 'intrinsic goodness'; my hope and relational needs in men I date, friends, dream of the perfect family I'm going to help raise and the various societies and clubs I'm a member of; my esteem in praise of men and confidence in performance skills of public speaking, singing and the outward appearance.
It takes the trials of life to realize the innate imperfectness of things, so easily changed by economics, society and personal circumstances, that I've placed my trust, hope and confidence in.
Yet for the citizens of the world, these are still the only things, imperfect as they are, they can place their trust, hope and confidence in and they'll cling to it tightly, even desperately, for what better hope can they have?
It gives me a great wave of gratitude in expressing this to realize that in whatever circumstances I'm placed in - bright youth or doddering old age, in world peace or war, in wealth or in poverty, in sickness or in health, being married or unmarried - one day all these will pass away and our Bridegroom will wipe away every tear for "we will see His face, and His name will be on our foreheads. And night will be no more..... For the Lord God will be our light, and we will reign forever and ever." (Rev 22:4-5)
And what better way to live for the hope and glory of God than through our singleness? Witnessing through our lives that we don't run after the things of the world but simply to think, act and speak to God's glory, accepting with thanks whatever gifts our God chooses to bestow on us, working for our daily bread, letting our words be consistent expressions of what we're living through our lives.
Perhaps I may sing a different tune 5-10 years down the road (hopefully not!) but whatever I may sing in the future, this is the reality of how God sees our individual lives isn't it?
“咦，你男朋友呢，你是不是把他藏在哪里？”我一个俏皮的姨妈这么打开这敏感的话匣子。
我开怀大笑，回应，“如果他存在的话，他还藏在神的旨意里。”
“你是不是太挑剔了，谁都看不上眼？”
“我很随缘的，来的话我不回拒，不来的话也没关系。”
“拜托，单身哪里好，有人爱有人疼才好嘛。”
我尽能力谦卑的笑，因知她是好意相劝，“在基督里，我已得了完全。”脸上仍挂着那笑容，我安详的离开厨房。
曾经很畏惧农历新年，和它肯定（对单身人士）带来的问题。但是不知曾几何时，我渐渐的发现这是最好的时机，字里行间，我能够自然的表达我在基督里活出的原则，和盼望。 这可能始于我内心深处增强的平静感，这股满于现状的平安跟我几个月前感觉的空虚，更显示出强烈的对比。
“各人领受神的恩赐 ，一个是这样，一个是那样。” （歌林多前书 7:7， 提的是单身或已婚的恩赐。）
对于那些只在后来才渐渐认识耶稣的，您也许和我一样经历过同样的属灵路程。像其他的非信徒，(to be continued....)
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